November/December, 2012

Nov.4
When I was with my friends, the world was my audience; but when I was alone, I was speaking to myself.
This is why I don't get really baked anymore; because too much fucking with the chemicals in my brain, and I become crazy.
Schizophrenic almost, like talking to myself and hallucinating.
This is the problem.
Although, sometimes I still miss being 16 and 17.....when I was perpetually extremely high all the time.
I'm a cat in a bunny costume.
For now, c'est la vie.
-Harlequin
Don't Forget.

Oh, my harlots and whores!
Now I'm a cute little sunflower.
And Kitten and I were supposed to have a GTL day every week, this is so sad.
This world can be tragic some days, when my mental weather is stormy.

Nov.6
There's some deep tragedy here, I just can't seem to figure out what it is.
Losing myself?
Turning into my mother?
What am I crying about?

Nov.9
Freud views women as endearing puppies.
So cute and naïve, to become "beloved"....like something that has become permanent in your life, not something to be truly valued.
So I should become a psychologist and start reading things like The Feminine Mystique.
It's this idea that a woman who wants anything else would be neurotic and unhappy that creates the counterculture that a woman should be anything except domesticated.
Do we want to all become "harlots & whores" or unfulfilled housewives?

Nov.11- Love is a Mixtape
It's a good time to be over this, right?
It's that "female mentality" that keeps getting me into trouble.
Never thought Mister J and I would have playful banter about a certain boy.
Mister J's "future son-in-law", as he likes to joke.
Then again, I never thought I'd spend Halloween cuddling with that boy and watching Fullmetal Alchemist.
I guess stranger things could happen...

Nov.12- Sorry About That
Sometimes we don't always know what it is that we need.
Sometimes we don't want what we need.
I've learned that it's alright to self-medicate, and that it's better to leave the past where it is.
This song reminds me of him.
But a lot of songs remind me of him, particularly Alkaline Trio songs (and occasionally Fall Out Boy)