I've gotten better with age, but there are always those months where I can't quite make it out of bed.
I think part of the reason I loved Satan so much is because he understood me when I was in those moods.
I guess it makes sense, since he's bipolar.
When I'm happy it's like sunshine, but sometimes the world feels like it's ending.
Mostly I'm happy, these last few months have been terrible though.
I'm not sure Kuma-kun knows what to do with my bad mood...
His energy gets weird sometimes when I talk to him.
It makes me anxious, like he won't tell me that he's really thinking, "Stop being crazy..."
The reason I should stay single.
I don't really want to be, I would love to enjoy a relationship with someone that I truly care about.
I think I might be too much for him to handle, it makes me feel bad.
I suppose I could always fake it, like usual.
It's not as if I haven't always put on a smile when I'm around people.
Making conscious decisions to avoid serious conversation topics...
That's not healthy though.
What can I say about Kuma-kun?
He's wonderful, and I would enjoy this.
If I could just stay out of my own head.
He met me at the worst time possible, when so much has crashed down around me.
I'm standing in chaos, trying to clean up the remains of my past.
If I could just get through it, I'd be fine.
Worrying about how I'm affecting another person isn't helping though.
Somewhere in between falling in love and attempting to clean up this mess that my life is...I'm lost.
We can only move forward from here, my life is on a good road.
It really is working out, but the process isn't easy.
I'm not sure it's right of me to drag another person along for the ride.
I guess I should just leave it up to him if he wants to be on this ride with me.
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