My cat is obsessed with water bottles.
Like literally he attacks me so he can try to drink out of them, he also used to play in the sink.
Before I get distracted talking about how awesome my cats are, I have an actual topic today.
You'll never guess how astounding and original this mysterious topic is!
*insert copious amounts of sarcasm*
Are you ready, ladies, gentlemen, scoundrels, harlots, and monkeys with grenade launchers?
I'm going to talk about love.
Love for me is like a pot brownie...
I'm perfectly alright, and then suddenly, "How am I this stoned?!"
It hits me exactly like that, "Wait, how did I end up in love?!"
I've only ever been in love with one person, a person who was always reluctant to admit that he loved me too.
In high school I'd fancy myself in love sometimes, for fun or boredom...sometimes because of loneliness.
I am after all a huge fan of Daisy Miller.
And for those who are unfamiliar with Henry James...go read now.
I've had a lot of playthings, but never an honest romance.
The one other person who loved me, I friend-zoned because I was strung out on pills and alcohol.
Flirting has always been a favorite pastime of mine...
Yet I never even manage to like someone enough to fall in love with them.
After you ask me to get on a motorcycle with your drunk ass or ask me to strip for your friends, I tend to draw the line.
"I said I would call her, but never would bother," sort of thing.
My adult life has also been filled with those sorts of events, hence the almost two years of deliberately staying single and trying not to fall back in love with someone who I'm always at odds with.
Kuma-kun told me that I'm the one who's taking so long...
For what?
But it's okay because he says he'll wait.
For me to realize that I'm in love with him?
To admit that I'm in love with him?
Last weekend when I was sitting in Kingpin's car, and very drunk mind you, I said to myself, "I'm in love with this guy..."
For once I wasn't going to go pass out on Satan's bed and somehow end up on his couch, because I wouldn't sleep with him.
For once I was in the midst of loving someone who is good and kind...
I decided that if I felt the same way the next morning then I would really be in love.
You're all wondering how I felt when I sobered up.
Well, sure as shit I woke up hungover and very much still feeling like I ate a whole pot brownie.
I dismissed those feelings, because...illogical...
Because it's too soon to be in love, isn't it?
There's no such thing as "Love at first sight."
And why do I fall asleep and then dream of him?
Because I'm not in love honestly.
I'm not really sure if I'm in love, I suppose I'm waiting for it to hit me while I'm sober.
Although, I am more honest when I'm drunk...maybe even more honest with myself?
I'm sure it's too early to tell, and even if I was it would be a well kept secret.
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