For the following reasons;
Some of my family members are homophobic racists, and like to yell about "goddamn niggers" when normal people should be sleeping. I'm not even going to go into detail about how much people with those viewpoints piss me off.
I stopped speaking to my mother...again. Because she's literally psychotic, and it's better to ignore her than to be in another argument with her delusional ideas.
People keep questioning my life choices.
And I'm paranoid...
I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
Also, discussing sex with people today made me question my own sex life.
I just realized that I'm scared to tell guys "no".
Why would I be?
It's completely illogical, probably more baggage left over from Satan.
It certainly seems that way...
Red flags; Kuma-kun said he might be okay with having a threesome in the future. If he loves me so much why would he ever consider that?
He played porn the first time we did anything...am I really so boring that you need porn to distract you?
Asking me for anal...I know I enjoy it, but do we have to do everything so soon into this relationship of ours?
I'm a very sexual creature, but I often catch myself giving in to things simply out of habit.
Maybe that's my fault, maybe I should be setting boundaries.
And one last thing about my sex life, it bothers me that he wants to screw around while we're high.
Because that behaviour, and even the amount of weed that he smokes, reminds me of Satan.
And that makes me cringe...
I really hope he just doesn't stay stoned all day, all the time.
This could be more baggage, since all the potheads I've ever known are beyond dysfunctional.
My mother being one of them, Satan, even The Jester.
Several of my close friends who dropped out of school and ran away to live with packs of homeless people...
A person can display the same traits as a quintessential drug-addict even if they only smoke weed.
How I do love all my fucking trauma...
Sarcasm, of course.
Sometimes I'm not sure what's normal and commonplace in the lives of others, this would be due to the fact that my life has been full of everything and absolutely nothing.
Sure, I've convinced people not to drive off of literal cliffs to kill everyone in the car, including myself.
But I've never really had a family...
I've gotten in physical fights with my mother, but I've never been on a legitimate vacation.
I've spent a lot of time getting drunk with my friends, but I have no clue what normal people do for fun.
My life is so full of absurdity...
How am I supposed to differentiate between what I've lived through, and what I should do with the future?
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