Haven't slept in two days 'cause Ivy's baby won't quit crying, and I hate my fucking mother.
I'm not fucking getting dressed today, fuck that shit.
This is what happens when I don't sleep, extensive use of the F-word.
Today is lame, I can't help but think that I'd be happier passed out in The Jester's living room...I'm never having kids.
I've said that before, but motherhood seems way too exhausting.
I guess if I do ever have a child it will be after I've gotten all the crazy out of my system.
Because I want to be reckless, sporadic, adventurous...
There's no time to be tied down to practicality for the sake of it.
Adulthood is boring, I don't feel up to this.
I preferred myself with a wild streak, I wanna get back to that.
Just a little more logical version of myself...
People are too wrapped up in emotions, I want to be far away from that way of thinking.
Ivy is the nicest bitch I've ever met.
As much as I love her...she makes me tired.
The world is spewing nonsense and bullshit.
Sometimes I feel like, "Did that really just come out of your mouth?"
This happens frequently when I'm around Ivy...
For fuck's sake, do you even think about what you're saying???
But we're all different people, and that's why we're friends.
I miss The Jester already...we're gonna start a post-dystopian book club, and he spent all of yesterday showing me all this awesome experimental European music.
The thing that I love about Ivy is that she always takes care of me, and the fact that we can be girly without being girly.
She's not all stupid and preppy, which is awesome.
I have fun with her, I'm just easily annoyed by pretty much everyone.
It's not that I don't love you, just that everyone I know gets on my nerves at some point.
Which is probably just my introvertedness...people make me tired.
It's a fucking fact.
Today we went to some of our old hangouts, I got to sit on my balcony, and see the cliffs.
So much nostalgia, it's overwhelming.
We saw someone's little sister, an old friend of ours.
I guess there's been twelve fights at our old high school in the last two days, our friend got a concussion 'cause she was jumped by a bunch of girls.
When we were in school there was a fight every few months, but nothing like this.
Fucking kids are crazy.
The security guard at the library remembered us, he couldn't believe that Ivy has a baby.
I told Ivy that story about getting kicked off the back steps of the church for rolling cigarettes...I smoked weed back there once too...with the King of Burnt Toast.
Ivy laughed and said, "Well, it's a church..."
When we passed by the high school I flipped it off.
Fuck that place.
She said that Senior year everyone walked out of class to protest the fact that they were firing good teachers, just because they didn't have tenure.
That place is steeped in politics and bullshit.
I'm not going to go on several angry rants right now...
Ivy said that Satan stopped talking to her 'cause she had a baby, he was disappointed in her decision making.
But she said herself that she regrets rushing into marriage just because she got pregnant.
And she just made me drink the grossest cold medicine, we were both choking and gagging...we were both laughing so hard, I was doubled over crying and she almost peed herself.
We have fun most days...we're like sisters, so on the rare occasion that we argue it's completely out of love.
I'm really worried about her being in this fucked up marriage though.
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