My life has been a little busy, but more in the "I'm really inclined to spend time with my friends" way.
Writers should always take notes, because you never know when you'll think of something fantastic.
I have this theory that life is simply a collection of nouns and adjectives...think about it.
Sometimes I fall victim to my own theories...
The Jester can't believe that I turned into a shy introvert.
I called him and we laughed about my awkwardness when I'm in a room full of people.
I spent the better part of high school trying to detach the headphones from his ears and make him more social, yet here I am practically having a panic attack because there's too many people in the room.
Our roles have definitely reversed themselves, and we're finally gonna hang out today after months.
Ivy made the joke that I always seem to disappear off the face of the earth, but I needed time to grow up.
She's really unhappy in her marriage, I spent all night listening to her talk about it.
Her baby is sick and I was quite literally covered in his puke last night.
Not that I really ever sleep anyway...
I went Valentines shopping, even though I hate shopping.
But I got something for Kuma-kun, and a cute dress that I'm gonna wear on our date.
First Valentines ever that I have a boyfriend...that word still sounds weird coming out of my mouth.
Kingpin called him my "boothang"
Maybe that's what I should start calling him.
I was at the phone store with Mister J and the girl at the desk asked for me to choose a security question.
Mister J chimes in, "Name of pet! Put *insert Kuma-kun's real name*"
My response, "Dude, I'm gonna kill you."
The girl at the desk, "Well, now I have to know."
Mister J, "It's her boyfriend!" in a singsong voice.
So while the girl was on the phone with someone to check my credit, everytime she would have to answer my security question she would start giggling.
I guess it's official, Kuma-kun is my pet now.
And I've decided after I move and get settled in that I'm going to Japan for a week or two...Mister J said that I could, so I'm gonna try to learn basic language skills and stuff.
In a way I'm lucky that nobody gives me any responsibility, so I can just do whatever I want with my life.
I listen to everyone complain about their parents and spouses putting pressure on them, and even though my life is upside down I still don't have to worry about that.
It's actually not my fault that my life is upside down, and I'm not generally irresponsible...but I like the fact that I have complete freedom over my own existence.
Nobody bothers me about where I am or what I'm doing...
I think sometimes I forget to be thankful for that, because it's been a few years since I've had to deal with something like overbearing parents.
I remember when I had to change all the clocks in the house so I could come home late without my mom yelling at me, and stuff like that....
When I would just lie to my mom all the time so I could hang out with my friends and whatever guy I was into.
Super sneaky stealth mode type shit.
I forget about all that stuff sometimes, less than a memory of the vague image of a dream long forgotten.
A lot of things are completely forgotten...unbeknownst to any part of my mind that isn't covered in cobwebs.
I feel as I I've had several lives, all starkly contrasted...juxtaposed on a nonexistent silver screen.
There's this balcony surrounded by glass walls in the public library that we all used to hang out at (or behind technically?) and I would always go up there when I would get in my "moods"
Those afternoons that I would suddenly ditch all my friends and whatever guy I was with at the time, I would disappear for like three hours and then come back.
But I would go up on this balcony and I could see everything, all the people that I knew interacting with each other...I could observe Satan with his bass at the taco shop across the street, the skater kids in the parking lot in front of the donut shop, Shadow King and all my friends talking, laughing.
I always felt like I was watching a film reel, on the outside looking in on a pool of light, a world made of glass.
What once our fragile reality was....
Some days instead of the balcony, I would walk all those streets that only I knew so well, I had so many favorite spots...and a million memories from each of them.
Ivy and I stayed up all night laughing about all the stupid guys we dated, kissed, hooked up with; and how silly we were back then.
Sixteen and terrified of loneliness.
That was us...scared of being alone.
I'm pretty sure the both of us combined have kissed everyone we knew several times over.
It's funny how we all had flings with the same people.
Except Catwoman, she wasn't quite like the rest of us; I can't explain that one, but she was just kinda part of a different crowd because of that one guy she dated for those two years or something.
Fun fact; when I moved back to San Diego from Arizona I started buying weed from his mom, he wanted to screw around with me but, ewwww, grody.
Normally I would write a monologue, so much is bothering me.
How do I even explain? How do I even begin to explain how ridiculous my life has become?
Lines are always so blurry...
The Jester, I think, has feelings for Catwoman still, Ivy thinks he has feelings for me, and how have all our friendships gotten so complicated?
He says he doesn't have feelings for Catwoman, he's just worried that she's fucked up.
Ivy can't focus on anything other than her crumbling marriage.
I had a fantastic day, despite my friends and their messed up lives.
As always The Jester is my kindred spirit in a fucked up world.
We practically just had a seven hour long conversation, but that's so typical for us.
These are the people who always understood my craziness, weirdness, bad habits...
The Jester and our ridiculous "smart person" conversations.
Even in the midst of our fucked up adolescence we were always close like this, our friendship became more stable with adulthood.
We don't even need to talk in order to have conversations, we communicate with looks...
It's weird to know someone so well that you know their entire life and every thought as if it's your own.
And my dear Ivy, the only girl I've ever been comfortable spending too much time with...
Catwoman was always too detached, she was the friend that I partied with, my former voice of reason....the one who used to save me from all my fights with Satan.
Weird that now Satan saves me from her antics.
The Jester and I are going on roadtrips as soon as I fix my car, finally someone on board with my adventures...someone who shares my sense of restlessness.
Another fun fact; The Jester has an INTJ personality.
Thank you, Ivy, for getting Afroman stuck in my head.
Our joke today, "all I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe!"
Today was really fun...because I miss having a genuine connection with people.
I miss having people that I can say anything to.
They're still my family, after going on six years of spending every single day with them.
We've gone swimming in our underwear, loitered in every public place/parking lot in our part of the city, met so many random people...the four of us have had so many adventures.
There are years of minutes and hundreds of pictures.
All the stories that I could tell, I doubt anyone would believe what our lives were really like.
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