Modus Operandi

It's time for post-breakup alcoholism.
I'm not going to spin out of control like I did after Satan.
It might be fun though.
Maybe I shouldn't take advice from people with abandonment issues, but they're just like me.
If I can listen to this song without crying then I'm okay.
Since I'm drunk shouldn't I be more prone to tears?
Mister J says that it's not necessarily that I didn't mean anything to him, but maybe that he has his own issues.
It's been awhile since I've been through a breakup, I forgot how much this sucks.
I feel like a failure because it barely lasted a month.
I'm okay, I swear.
We all know I'm lying.
I had this dream about Satan one time, in the dream I was sitting with him on his bed, "we're adults now, we can work this out," is what I told him.
The thing is that age doesn't define adulthood, not with Satan nor with Kuma-kun.
I'm a fucking idiot for thinking that for once I could end up with a guy who gives a shit.
"Dont let your future be destroyed by my past. "
Life is so long though, next year this moment probably won't matter.
I still loathe the word "goodbye."
None of us could breathe life into our words, couldn't speak with conviction.
What's the toll on this road to Hell?
I haven't saved any pennies for the ferry-man.
Just wanna do something crazy, maybe illlegal?
Because I love these moods where I can't find time to give a fuck.
We all know I'm just hurt.
I feel like a moshpit, riot, driving too fast, getting too drunk...
Wanna fuck someone up, let's start a fucking fight.
I wish he would've loved me back.
Do I seem more angry or sad?
For me they're synonymous.
"They're sharing a drink they call loneliness,  but it's better than drinking alone."
Ahhh, this song...
I just didn't wanna hurt anybody, I hurt myself though...by being with someone who was inadvertently hurting me.
I still don't understand why he didn't understand.
Heartbroken, pissed off, relieved?
Probably shouldn't mix nyquil with alcohol....
I'm sedating myself, just for tonight.
Everyone is asking why my relationship status changed, which is why I don't put that shit on the internet.
I fucking hate people in my business.
What else could I say?
How did this happen again?
The way it started.
With a trademark neon sky, a full moon?
Something intangible is what sent us down this road, sent us into the abyss of fate, the universe pulling tricks on us, pulling smoke screens out of tophats, blinding us with bright white lights, visions of something we want to call happiness.
I wanna go get high on the beach, dance in the waves.
Everything is okay, just reiterate that.
Mister J said I should just go find a fuck buddy.
Pfft, *laugh*
I have nothing for that one.
I'm sure I'll recover, I always do.
I've had shit broken over my head, people have thrown me across rooms, I've almost died several times over, been homeless, been used, abused, lied to; but I can survive anything, I'm a better person because I've been through Hell on earth.
So what's a little breakup,  sometimes when you love someone you have to let them go.