And I said, "Me too...except that I don't have one to cuddle with."
"You could cuddle [insert Satan's name] {laugh}"
"He'd be like, 'Get the fuck off me, you stupid bitch.'"
"Those exact words, like literally," she started cracking up when she said this.
We both know it's true...not that he's never consoled me when I cried, he's just uncomfortable with emotions.
He would probably say that to me...
Which is why I'll never date him again, not that either of us believes in relationships anymore.
Ivy was laughing that I didn't know all the people he's slept with..."You were totally blind," she said.
I was when it came to him though.
Is it bad that I'm kinda tired of being covered in baby drool and sticky shit?
Which is why I'd be a shitty parent, I don't think I can handle kids.
Ivy is a much more compassionate person than I am.
Kuma-kun might get a tv series?
I'm really happy that he's following his dreams.
Ivy's cat adores me...
Other than all that?
I met a cute guy on that site...he reads Tolkien and is in the process of building chain-mail based on Assassin's Creed.
I'm a sucker for guys who are into High Fantasy...
Ivy called me weird because I told her the first three minutes of the conversation was about Spawn.
She's like, "How did you do that?! Just start talking about that?"
Erm, because I know what I want in a guy and I know what guys want in a girl.
More specifically with these types of guys the easiest way to have conversations is to just say whatever pops into my head?
Which generally happens to be fantasy, anime, video games, or comics?
Since this is what my entire brain is pretty much comprised of...
I have 58 "secret admirers" on this site, like geez.
They're mostly just douchebags who want someone to smoke with and get laid.
Oooh, but that guy also plays guitar...you know how I feel about guys who play bass/drums/guitar...
Well, actually, I don't think I've ever had a thing with a guitar player; somehow I always end up with bassists and drummers.
There are a lot of hot girls on this site, some of them sent me messages...but they're like seventeen...
No underage chicks, for multiple reasons.
I always get weird messages on sites like this...earlier I got one that said "if we were having sex in a booth at the back of a sex shop and a random guy stuck his dick through the hole, would you suck it? Be honest."
What, are you stupid?
Killed too many brain cells with incest?
I mean really...
Just now I got; "kik me, you're hot ;$"
What the fuck is that even?
I did get a Kik though, out of boredom.
Guy from the sex shop was like, "Hope you're getting some sleep."
It was cute, Ivy and I are still trying to figure out his age; so far our guess is mid-twenties.
How do you just straight up ask someone their age?
I just got ten messages in a literal two minutes all asking for my Kik...what has Ivy gotten me into?
I'm not sixteen anymore, is it okay for me to be meeting people online like this?
In high school we all did this, all of us had MyYearbook accounts...but aren't I a little old for this shit?
Apparently a lot of my friends have them still...I keep seeing people that I know, it's bizarre.
Oh, it's called MeetMe nowadays.
Doesn't that sound sheisty anyway?
Haha, some guy just said he wanted to sneak me into his room, this is laughable.
People on this site though, I keep getting hit on by middle-aged men.
So gross....
There's a lot of creepy guys my own age on there too, but it's not like I don't know guys like that in real life; at least on the Internet I don't have to respond.
Why is everyone obsessed with "thigh gaps"...has society found yet another way to pointlessly make girls feel bad about themselves?
Ivy and Satan got in a fight on Facebook today...because she's way too easily offended, and takes everything too personally.
*sigh*
I'm tired of her bad moods...
I'm tired of having to defend Satan, even though I think the same way he does...I'm just less open about it, more diplomatic, less inclined to say what I'm actually thinking.
Which is where my autopilot responses come from...the same responses that Satan tells me not to give him.
Hence the reasons I love him, he lets me be who I am without putting any expectations on me.
Now Ivy wants to literally kill him, and I am tired of dealing with everybody's moods all the time.
She honestly just needs to get the fuck over it, not everyone thinks the way she does...she has to accept that.
This is where my whole "I need new friends" came from...why I stopped talking to her and everyone else.
They don't think the way I do, and I constantly feel the need to be anything other than what I am.
Satan gets that about me, he prefers me as I am...but he has his own fucking issues.
I don't like my friends...I don't!
Ivy is sweet most of the time, but there are core parts of her personality that I cannot handle.
I don't want friends who are so goddamn judgmental, who get angry over things that don't fucking matter...over-fucking-emotional.
Oh, wait, that's why I didn't have female friends before recently, when Ivy and I started hanging out again.
I play along with it, but I'm not actually having fun...I'm mentally exhausted by the need to act like just another girl with typical thoughts.
She doesn't get me, so I just go back to being the person I was in high school.
And then we suddenly get along, and that's what I complained about through the entirety of high school.
Playing a part in a life that I'm not really living...
I get to be the wonderful best friend, nice and supportive.
Really?
I just wanna shake Ivy and tell her to be sensible for once in her fucking life...because she fucked up her own life.
I love her, but she's being stupid.
And this whole, "I'm gonna move in with my new boyfriend immediately after I get divorced?"
Like she didn't know that having a kid and marrying some douchebag that she knew for less than a year would fuck up her life?
But she doesn't believe in abortion...but she believes in sleeping with another guy, in her house, in her bed, while she's still married, without a condom.
Satan doesn't like her because she makes decisions like that...he doesn't like Catwoman also for the bad decisions she makes.
He doesn't wanna deal with their bullshit.
I don't fucking wanna deal with their bullshit...but I'm oh, so loyal and I've known them for years.
So I'm just always patient and supportive, when half the time I feel like telling everyone to fuck off.
I need to relax...everything works itself out.
Life goes on.
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