I Wanna Take Off My Pants!

Ivy said I'm a fucking moron *laugh*

She meant it in a nice way, "Tia is muy loco!" Is what she said afterwards.

I've had too much caffeine...

Her husband and I get along really well, it's weird.

He's like, "I like having her here!"

(Referring to me)

And he calls me nanny and auntie...

He was joking about me being their second child.

He also said he'd give me a dollar if I guessed what this quote was from (some Fight Club quote).

Ivy keeps joking that we should get married...

It's funny as fuck.

Fork called me, on a three-way with one of his friends (I adore his friends).

So Ivy and her husband and me and Fork and his friend were all talking, and shit, and it was fun.

I'm helping her get ready for the party tomorrow.

I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying, I love our randomness.

Even though I hate a lot of people, I manage to get along with almost anyone...it's strange.

We've been listening to Hootie & The Blowfish, Blues Traveller, Semisonic...and having fun.

What am I going to do when she leaves???

I'm nuts tonight, and Ivy is gonna kill me.

Her husband is still quizzing me on bands...I only got one wrong.

She's so scary, I laughed so hard tonight.....and we cleaned her whole house.

I'll laugh if I fall asleep upside down like this.

Fork went to bed, but I finally got to talk to him.

Man, my fucking brain is tired.

He thinks it's cute that I'm crazy, and he said one day I'll "find the right person and say this isn't a bad idea" (about marriage).

Because he sent me this;

"This will be you..."

And I said "if I ever have the misfortune to get married."

I'm even too tired for Madoka Magica, besides that series is seriously depressing me right now.

Everyone teases me about cursing at my TV (Fork's friend was joking about it earlier, it's kinda funny how many people bring that up).

I forgot to say that we hung out with this girl that I haven't seen since high school (like yesterday-ish, all the days are blurring together).

We all have an unspoken agreement that we don't tell stories about how I was in high school, she said it got boring after Ivy and I graduated.

Because we were the last of the fun people...damn kids (she's a year younger than us).

She's pretty chill (she's always been), I remember that she hated me when we first met (I was like fourteen).

She was a good enough friend not to do anything with Satan way back when, because he and I had history...which is more than I can say for Ivy (she almost slept with him more than once back then, even though she was in love with his best friend).

My friends have pretty much all slept with each other, it was kinda normal I guess.

So, goodnight, because there doesn't need to be any more pointless anecdotes in this blog.

We saw a movie too...3 Days to Kill, it wasn't bad.

Okay, that's really all this time.

I can hear Ivy and her husband having sex upstairs, this is so awkward...

I shouted, "You guys are fucking loud!"

So Ivy came downstairs to tell me how there was cum everywhere.

So today was the party, I took lots of pictures, got fucking wasted...you know, the usual.

After the "kids party" was over we played beer pong, it's totally possible to be wasted off of beer (I had a lot).

I ended up puking while I was on the phone with Fork.

He stayed up with me all night and kept me from passing out in my own vomit.

I'm not even sure what I said to him, I can't remember anything after we came inside from beer pong.

Ivy's husband decided that my nickname is Shit Show (because my name starts with an 'S').

Her neighbor has started calling me "Slore" (bitch & whore as one word), but he was drunk.

One of her husband's married friends wanted to bone me (ewww, gross).

I guess I fell down the stairs a few times (or up the stairs?)

Ivy's husband has been quizzing me on 90s music for the last couple days.

And I dunno what else to talk about...

I'm fucking tired and hungover, and everything I eat tastes like vomit (it's morning now).

So this guy I made out with in Oceanside, a few people I went to middle school with, and a bunch of my friends from high school (basically people from all over San Diego County) are all friends.

Ten bucks says they met at a hardcore show....

I really do know everyone in this city, don't I?

I also made a new friend...I wanted to take him home so badly, he was like the dog of my dreams *sad kitten* ^~^

Demonic Muffins of Doom

Ivy eats so much junk food...

I had frozen pizza and iced coffee out of a carton for breakfast.

Ivy's husband keeps making jokes that every time he sees me I'm talking to a different guy.

"Did you talk to [Fork's name] today?!"

He's actually not as bad as I thought...they're both to blame for their fucked up marriage....they're both decent people when they're apart though, her husband is pretty funny.

They just shouldn't be married.

We went to the swap meet, I forgot how fun it is.

(I just wanna go there and buy tons of books)

We were at the knife booth and I was playing with a butterfly knife; Ivy was like, "Of course you're all slick with it..."

"[Satan] taught me years ago..."

"Of course he did...."

"Dyslexic lioness!"

I wanted to buy lucha libre masks and run around yelling "Nachoooo!"

But Ivy is a buzzkill...

(I miss my knife)

I saw a cute guy in a cow vest with a lip ring (yum!).

Fork hasn't been talking to me much lately, at this point idgaf.

I really enjoyed the comic booth, and I had a really long conversation with this guy selling retro video games.

Well, I dunno, I guess that's it...

(Ivy's husband's driving kinda fucking scares me)

Enjoy The Crash

I went to the Navy hospital with Ivy today, I was talking to the girl who works in the office, she got a cherry blossom tattoo while she was in Japan (she's only in her early twenties); makes me wonder if I should've joined the air force like everyone wanted me to.

Turning seventeen marked the beginning of my adult decisions, which have been nothing but stupid.

But we all know my decision making skills are not exactly fantastic....

Everyone (including Satan and Ivy's husband) make fun of the weird noises I make, I just squeak a lot and stuff.

I've never told anyone that I wake up crying sometimes, it just happens.

I've also never told anyone that I hear voices sometimes....just murmuring, mumbling, random words.....

The insurance company is asking Ivy if anyone was in the car with her when she got in her accident, I'm nervous about it.

Why do so many random phone numbers text me, I'm just like who the fuck?

Ivy's husband seems to like me better than he did before, because I like The Doors and Metallica.

Her neighbor asked us to go to the bar...

Ivy responded with, "she's underage!"

(Referring to me).

She's underage too...I'm so sick of people teasing me for how young I am....

When am I gonna stop feeling like I'm a kid?

It's my fault that all my friends are in their mid-twenties/thirties...

I think her neighbor likes me too, I got a "What's up, girl?"

Bud Light tastes like piss fyi.

Ivy thinks Fork really loves me, she's like, "You are so deep in that boy's heart and you don't even see it. I know you and I know that you don't do relationships well."

I know I can't do relationships, we've learned this a thousand times over.

But I'm smitten, infatuated, and totally just adore this guy.

He sends me pictures of what he's playing, what he's listening to, what he cooks for dinner every night...I send him pictures of my cats and random things I find cool and interesting throughout the day....

We talk every night and he's just as random and ridiculous as I am, he understands my moods and manages to fix them in a heartbeat.

I don't know if I can do this though...

It's the same way I felt when I first met Satan...that "we're young in love, let's go anywhere, this night is all that matters" kind of thing.

Except Fork is ten years older than me exactly, and we're fucking adults...we're not fifteen and this is real life.

His voice is calming to me...like I just love the sound of it...certain people, their presence is just instantly comforting to me.

He's one of those people...and I can think of a million reasons why.

I don't know...I wanted someone who's like me, I found him.

This is a mess....I don't need anyone else in love with me.

Fork and I ended up having a really serious conversation, it was kinda a buzzkill....I'm so super paranoid about shit.

He knows the Fuck Song and we sing it together (yes!)

I have the opening from Madoka Magica stuck in my head...(I'm so sad I finished Log Horizon already).

But yes...this guy that I'm seriously falling for, in the most ridiculously serious way possible.

Mister J would probably hate him, but he hates everyone.

Ivy said I get along well with her husband, I just get along well with guys in general.

Tomorrow is Ivy's going away party, so I'll write more later.

I spent the night tearing up my tights and watching Madoka Magica...("you and your anime" :p)

I'm Fork's punk rock girl and we're gonna get lots of tattoos together...I like his tattoos a lot, even though he got them for free and stuff...I like that they have meaning.

But, yeah, I think I've mastered the art of ripped tights (they look better in person).

Ivy's probably gonna be like wtf when she wakes up.

Also my cat drowned my Rainbow Dash plushie, because he's throwing temper tantrums that I'm gone.

*über pissed*

Poor Rainbow Dash :'(

Tragic Irony or Poetic Justice

Does anyone else wonder how Mrs. Cobblepot gave birth to the Penguin?

I mean how does that happen?

This is the kinda shit that keeps me up at night...

Ivy is leaving on the 4th, and I don't know what to say.

"What are the facts, and to how many decimal places? If it can't be expressed in figures then it is not science, it is opinion."

Satan actually gave me a lecture about feeding my cats "people food"...

It's funny that everytime I sneeze he says, "Hail, Satan!"

It reminds me of that one time I was walking home with him and that one guy I was dating (one of his friends), and some bible-thumper told us off for shouting "Hail Satan!"

*laugh*

Ivy is an ESFP...weird, right?

Totally didn't guess that one...

I told Satan, "This show is amazing!"

And he knew exactly what I was talking about, he's psychic.

I love Akatsuki, Nyanta, and Shiroe <3

Fork said he'll start playing WoW with me, I'm really excited, but really nervous because he's really good...like he helped develop the game...

*blush*

I really like him.

He said he's saving up money so I'll play Wakfu with him, he wants to "spoil me" by buying me gear and stuff.

I'm just like "eek! *hides*"

He's so cute...

*sigh*

He lives so far away though.

I'm all hearts over this guy, geez.

He said we've gotta start our co-op career, and I'm like, "sooo romantic!"

I'm gushing, I know, ssshhhh....

So, yeah, Log Horizon, I like that it's realistic; they talk about leveling, actual spells/cool-down times, classes, guilds, PvP, party formations when running dungeons, etc.

It's so awesome.

They've incorporated a real MMO into an anime, it's genius!

Satan has fantastic taste in anime, (ironic since when I met him he hated anime, except Naruto...feel free to laugh since this was years ago).

I'm so obsessed with this show, I just want to watch it forever.

Satan said Season 2 is coming out soon.

Ivy said I could dress her up in Lolita, so we're gonna do that whole matching thing that they do in Tokyo.

Oh, to go shopping in Shibuya, eat Soba, drink strawberry Ramune, and visit the Sanrio theme park would be such a dream....

You know they have vending machines that serve hot tea?!

I want to travel so badly *sigh*

Ivy is totally shipping characters from Fairy Tail, she's all sad that Hulu only has Season 1...so I showed her my favorite site to watch anime on, because I'm awesome *laugh*

I love my new phone (it's all pink and prettyful).

Ivy hates ska...she was making fun of it and I'm just like, "noooo, how are you going to insult my wonderful Toh Kay?!"

I love his voice so much, he is a god to rival Tim Armstrong and Matt Skiba (I know Alkaline Trio isn't ska, sshhh).

Tomas Kalnoky, how you send chills down my spine...

I'm in love with his voice.

Hey, guess what?!

I always end up with guys in bands (either presently or formerly).

I've dated a million bassists and drummers...Satan being one that comes to mind.

Fork was a vocalist too...he went to a wedding the other day and everyone was joking that he looked like every emo band ever....he totally was an emo child (after my own heart).

Yeah, he used to have pink hair and snake bites...(too bad he doesn't still have them, I still love kissing people with lip rings).

Mmmm, I wanna go see him soooo bad.

I kinda wanna dye my hair green...or maybe just put green and purple streaks in my hair....

Start wearing black lipstick again, I miss my goth girl phase.

I love that Fork doesn't smoke weed...he loves to drink though (score!)

We can enjoy alcoholism together....he smokes Camel 99s; ironic (yet, again).

I wanna live in a video game (can I just be a Night Elf?)

Fork is like, "You don't have anything against Blood Elves, right?"

*hysterical laughter*

"I play Alliance though..."

"I'll just be a Night Elf Druid!"

Yay!

My dream is to be a real life khajit...or like the cat race in Log Horizon.

Fork and I spent so much time talking about Morrowind, Final Fantasy, and Lego Star Wars *huge smile*

I adore that he's such a dork, because I totally have someone to go on random walks with, screw around in stores, skip down the street, sing random songs, play stupid games, watch MLP, and other stuff with.

He won't watch anime with me though, because he can't read subtitles....and he's technically not s'posed to drink because of his meds.

And why does he live so far away?!

What anime series should I watch next???

I've only got ten more episodes of Log Horizon...I've been thinking about re-watching Nyan Koi...or starting PreCure, but there's so many seasons that I'm overwhelmed.

Alley Cat keeps sending me pictures of her tummy and it's grossss (she's legitimately obese, and I'm like "bitch, I don't wanna see that shit")

She's so weird though, she sends me this text, "Send me a pic of your tummy!"

Gaaaah! Why?!

I broke my nail...bleh.

"The Villain in Glasses"

Weird that I'm kinda fangirling over Shiroe...is it weird if I ship him and Akatsuki?

She's so adorable!

And Nyanta is like the best friend I've always wanted...because who wouldn't want to befriend a sword-fighting humanoid cat in a green pinstripe tailcoat who can cook awesome curry....?

Um, he is god.

It's been so long since I've been this excited about an anime...like probably since the days of Inu Yasha, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Ugly Yet Beautiful World.

I forgot how much anime I used to watch, I stopped because I thought it was uncool.

This post is long enough...

Ciao, lovelies.

'Til we meet again.

I made breakfast though; chocolate pancakes.

Continued

As opposed to just fixing the double-spacing I'm just going to start a new post...as I said it's early...or late?

Because fuck everything.

I ended up passing out on the phone with Satan while he played Counterstrike with "that one kid" (who doesn't have a name in this blog because I was never personally friends with him, even though he was around a lot in the past; wanna hear two million funny stories involving him?)

"Holy shit, you're still there?!"

I'm pretty sure I responded with a "huh? *sleepy moan*"

Life is relative.

My life has been about living with an overwhelming sadness, but in this moment I feel the world changing...perhaps brighter days lie ahead.

Every breath, every moment, everything has meaning....I couldn't let it go because it's part of what I am, I see that now.

Wow, I sound fucking retarded.......

"You should go to sleep."

Erm, yes, I should do that.

Have fun with my fucked up memories, my hectic present, metaphorical boxes filled with tangible ashes of poetry, buried under an ancient sea....

Goodnight.

The Times We Had Were Not That Bad

I have the Kesh Jig stuck in my head, don't ask me how that happens.
Satan called me, so that's what I'm doing tonight.
I caught a cold...
He's got serious rage right now, "Steam is being a bitch".
Ivy is fighting with Catwoman, my only response; told you so.
Is it bad that she's on my last nerve?
I can't help her if she won't listen.
I'm glad that I at least feel like myself....no pretenses or façades.
There were a ton of things to say...but right now I just have a headache, Streetlight Manifesto and Satan coughing in my ear.
Knowing he's on the line is somehow comforting to me, even if we hardly talk...we don't say much, just sit on call silently, sharing random thoughts.
I like it, it kinda feels like when we used to hang out, I like that he's quiet.
Fork keeps saying he's in love with me, I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He (Satan) keeps teasing me about crashing that truck last month...it's kinda endearing that he gives me so much shit.
I found more awesome bands; The Bollox, Madness, and The Hippos...they're rad.
Buck-O-Nine is from San Diego...so the song My Town is actually about my hometown; ironic.
I'm having serious reservations about our friendship, because maybe I should surround myself with nice people...sometimes I get tired of listening to him be a dick for no reason.
Maybe I just hate everyone...I should go back to having no friends, some days everyone annoys me.
I'm not sure if I'm sick or depressed with allergies...maybe it's a stress cold.
"Fuck buying flowers for graves." <<< I want this tattooed on my ribs, to remind me that suicide is not the answer to my problems.
I don't think that you need to have another person to live for.
Somebody told me once when I tried to kill myself that you only need one person to love you, to live for.
"I don't got nobody's love to save me."
I'm living for myself though.
What am I even talking about anymore?
Apparently Blizzard gave badass mounts to everyone who won like three games of Hearthstone....obviously I'm talking about WoW.
Fuck my shit for having shitty internet and a shitty computer...and fucking shit.
Hmmmm, life.
I have to fix my own life, don't I?
I'm guilty of taking "selfies"...and that's only okay if you're a narcissistic, hot girl.
No fucking comment....for so many reasons...no.
Fork told me that I'm sexy and seductive, he said it's cute when I swear.
I have nothing to say about that either, I don't need to be in any more relationships.
My service sucks, Skype always drops my goddamn calls.
Surprisingly Satan always calls me back, you'd think he'd be bored by now.
Weird that he called me though, I'm still kinda psychic when it comes to him.
*laugh*
He's like, "when are you gonna start playing WoW again?"
°__°
Whyyyy?!
The Diablo expansion is coming out soon (I think).
Did I mention that Ivy is most likely staying with her husband...?
Yep, that is a fucking thing.
I told Satan if I'm ever stupid enough to get married that he should slap me.

It's 4:17am...

Why is it all weird and double-spaced???

You Don't Owe Anything To Anyone

My favorite Korean Drama is on Crunchyroll; My Lovely Sam-Soon, it's very tsundere...which is why I love it.

I have The Police stuck in my head...

You wanna talk about bands for a minute?

This week's discoveries include The Pogues, The Bleachers, Victims of Circumstance....and a bunch of J-rock bands that only I care about.

We're gonna change my Man in the Trench Coat's name to Fork...it's a much shorter Inside joke.

I sent Ivy some pictures of Catwoman, me, the three of us together, her first love, and some of our favorite hangout spots...

She said, "I miss the old days."

I wish I could snap my fingers and fix all of our lives.

Just sent Ivy more pictures...we're both feeling pretty ancient right now.

That world feels like another lifetime.

When she was totally in love with M, when I had a new guy every week, when I was not-so-secretly in love with Satan, when we would get crossfaded everyday...I would just show up at The Library, "Alright, who wants to smoke, let's bounce."

My "entourage" would assemble, along with whatever guy I was flirting with, after my cigarette and peach Arizona tea...we'd go to the Nature Preserve or the steps behind Sunshine Liquor...everyone was always so sketched out...one time we even smoked in a giant bush, that was the first time that Newb got blazed.

Sometimes I feel like I ruined his life by smoking him out after that.

And I would force everyone to listen to Ska and Reggae....we'd vandalize shit with my favorite sharpie...we wrote a bucket list on the table in the park....we were so fucking burnt, God.

Sometimes we'd end up at Satan's, but that was mostly Catwoman and I on weekends...'cause I was always like, "Let's go see [insert Satan's name]."

I loved when it would hit me, that stoned feeling, and we'd get up and the sun was golden, we were free to do and go where we wanted, so I would dance down the street singing my favorite songs, we were always laughing, fucking off....we'd end up at the beach...Slurpies and coffee at 3:00am...the beach in the middle of the night, getting drunk on the pier.

These are the things I did with my life until recently.

I guess the whole shoplifting thing was kinda bad, but I only did it a few times and I never got caught.

I'm overcome by nostalgia...I've been trying to find my journals from high school, but they're lost somewhere....

You know when I find them there will probably be another long, nostalgic post...be prepared.

Fork is totally convinced he's in love with me...(*laugh* Fork)

I walked all those streets with so many different people...I'm always homesick for those places.

Cracked sidewalks, alleyways, side-streets...

I just wanna go back to loving life;" neon skies, golden days, stars on a string"

There's this feeling I have, like I wish I could just drive until I hit water.

The sand is so warm at night....I want to smoke a bowl and walk all my favorite streets.

Speaking of bowls and such...I've been sober for over a week, I hate it, I want a fucking shot.

Goddamn nostalgia, fuck.

Let's Do Another Questionnaire!

Yes, I'm really that bored...

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

Hmmm, yes...definite yes.

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

No, I don't think so...yesterday though, and the day before, half my friends are exes, what's wrong with my life?

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Once...everytime I see him now he's like, "Have sex with me, the one time we did it I was so bad that I have to make it up to you!" The first time is always bad. True or false that guys never forget their first?

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

If you're asking if I personally have trust issues then yes.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

I wanna go see him already! Why does he have to live so far away?! :(

6. What are you excited for?

Life...and stuff.

7. What happened tonight?

Last night? I went on a drive to clear my head and ended up at Denny's eating French fries and chain-smoking cigarettes in the parking lot.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

Nah, it's a little annoying, but very recently I was one of those girls who spends the night with her head in a toilet...this never used to happen, this is a serious problem for me now...and I'm definitely not one to talk.

9. Is confidence cute?

Yeah, unless you're over-confident, cocky and narcicisstic...truth be told I prefer shy guys/girls...it's adorable.

10. What is the last beverage you had?

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

Satan, Shadow King, The Jester, {my friend who doesn't have a name in this blog because I haven't seen him in a long time, but we've been friends for like 8 years now}....Mister J most days (but that's complicated because of other issues I have).

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

Several actually...I used to rarely wear them, but I don't wear pants that often anyway.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Nothing so far...but my life is pretty spontaneous right now.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

A haircut probably, my hair is starting to annoy me.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

Who was the last person I kissed???? I can't remember, pretty sure it was Ivy...weird, but no.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

Yeah...I think I'm about to go through one of those huge personality shifts...it's already happening, I've been feeling more like myself lately...less like a zombie hermit...

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

There's a few people; Mister J, The Jester (most days), Satan (it's strange, I know), [currently] Man in the Trench Coat

18. The last time you felt broken?

After breaking up with Kuma-kun, I felt really lost...kinda like I was pretending to be something I wasn't, so I went on a drinking binge, did a whole bunch of stupid shit, and now I feel better.

19. Have you had sex today?

Nope...everyone keeps telling me that I need to get laid though. Well, no shit I need to get laid, what was your first clue?

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

A lot of stuff actually...

21. Are you in a good mood?

Define good. My moods are weird. For me a good mood is when I'm feeling a little crazy, sporadic, spontaneous, energetic, and I don't really give a fuck...basically when I get in a wild mood is when I'm happiest, so yes.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

Hmmmmm....maybe, but I'd rather swim with dolphins...like a fucking mermaid or something. Just call me Lorelai, siren of the sea.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Yup.

24. What do you want right this second?

Do not, under any circumstances, ask me that question right now. (Hot, steamy sex with a complete stranger. Thank you for asking).

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Why the fuck would I care? It's not my business what anyone does...I've really only deeply loved one person in my entire life (I've loved a couple of people, but love has a lot of different levels and facets)...but if I loved someone I would want them to be happy, even if it wasn't with me.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Not for long...

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

No.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

Um...probably Mister J cracking dirty jokes and making fun of people.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

You have no idea.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

Most of the time.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

Hell no! I really like him...I'm actually surprised by how much I like him.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I have feelings for two people...I'm pretty sure one of them does...but we'll see, won't we?

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

Occasionally...more recently I have been. I've been drinking a lot of energy drinks lately though, no wonder I'm an insomniac.

34. Listening to?

"Could've been, should've been, would've been different. 'Cause I know now, what I never knew then."

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

I've never in my entire life regularly used pencil...I don't think I've even seen a pencil in a few years...those still exist? Why don't we have futuristic light pens already?!

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

At home dealing with her dickhead husband?

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

More like love during first conversation? What's it called??? Sapiosexual?

38. Who did you last call?

Satan? Wait, he called me...Trench Coat Man? Maybe??? I don't even remember...

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

My cat? (Cats are people toooo)

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

She kissed me...as a distraction, it totally worked too.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

I can't even remember...

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

Nope.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

When don't I embarrass myself in front of anyone and everyone??? I do it so often that now nothing really embarrasses me.

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I rarely tan...if I do it's on accident normally. But no...that sounds fun...I don't know of any nude beaches though :/

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

Erm...no? Idgaf.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

Haha, for once the answer is no.

47. Who was the last person to call you?

Satan or Trench (I'm shortening the name 'cause I'm tired of typing it out, maybe he just needs a new nickname altogether).

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Used to. Not so much anymore, since these walls are thin.

49. Do you dance in the car?

Always.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

I want toooo....somebody teach me!

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Never? Unless school photos count? So like back in high school?

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

I love musicals...but they can be cheesy sometimes.

53. Is Christmas stressful?

I don't even celebrate it...annoying people during the holiday season are stressful to me though.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

What the fuck even is that???? I've been asked this question before and I just...what? Ever eat taboyaki, mochi, onigiri, udon, gormeh sabzi, puttanesca, ghameh, ash reshteh, or arancini? I didn't think so...fuck off with your pierogi.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Cherry.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Teacher, writer, hairdresser, linguist, elven princess...basically the same as now. Apparently I haven't grown up.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yep.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

All the time, it's eerie.

59. Take a vitamin daily?

Nope, I probably should.

60. Wear slippers?

Nope...I don't like wearing shoes if I can help it.

61. Wear a bath robe?

Nope...I don't wear clothes if I can help it.

62. What do you wear to bed?

Tank top and panties...if it's cold I wear flannel plaid pants.

63. First concert?

Alkaline Trio <3

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Target, I guess? I hate walmart with a passion, and I don't even know where the nearest k-mart is.

65. Nike or Adidas?

Neither...fucking Chinese slave labor, man.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheetos, duh.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Peanuts.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

Fuck off. ("'Cause weeeee are nevereverever getting back together?!")

69. Ever take dance lessons?

Not officially (remind me to tell you that funny story later).

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

Nope. Idgaf with that shit...in fact both guys I like right now are unemployed, computer savvy gamers.

71. Can you curl your tongue?

Nope.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

I have never seen or heard of a spelling bee ever even happening...do those actually exist? I thought that was just a cheesy plot device for terrible children's movies.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Yes.

74. What is your favorite book?

Why do you ask such difficult questions, oh random internet survey? Deadeye Dick, Breakfast of Champions, Pnin, Invitation to a Beheading, The Crying of Lot 49, Candide, Lovecraft's short stories, A Spell for Chameleon, The Sword of Shannara, The Hobbit, The Prydain Chronicles, The Solitude of Prime Numbers, A Visit From The Goon Squad, Daisy Miller, Washington Square, A Separate Peace, Pride & Prejudice, Emma, Sense & Sensibility, Still Life With Woodpecker, Reading Lolita in Tehran, Veil of Roses, Through The Looking Glass, The Great Gatsby, The Eye of The World, Wizard's First Rule, The Magician, Coraline, Time Enough For Love, Brave New World; (there's a lot more, maybe I should've written down authors instead).

75. Do you study better with or without music?

With? But it has to be stuff I don't know the words to...so usually techno (what a generalized term) or foreign stuff (Jpop and europop mostly).

76. Regularly burn incense?

Yessss...I can't live without incense (sage and sweetgrass too).

77. Ever been in love?

Fuck off and die in a fire, *laugh* What the fuck do you think?

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Metallica, Disturbed, Slayer, Streetlight Manifesto, OTEP, Theatre of Tradgedy, Nox Arcana, Horrorpops, Cruxhsadows, Emilie Autumn, Tarja Turunen, I'd love to see Alkaline Trio again, Bad Religion, Social D... Idk, probably a lot of bands.

79. What was the last concert you saw?

I haven't been to a show in ages...

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Depends on the weather...but I prefer hot tea.

81. Tea or coffee?

Can't decide.

82. Favorite type of cookie?

I don't know? White chocolate macadamia probably...or Persian cookies.

83. Can you swim well?

Not well, I don't think...for being born and raised in California I haven't actually spent that much time swimming.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yes, can't everybody?

85. Are you patient?

Depends on the situation, generally yes.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

DJ?

87. Ever won a contest?

Define contest? Yes?

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

Will I ever or have I ever? I used to want a nose job, but I'm trying to learn how to live with my insecurities.

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Can't decide? Kalmatta olives are the shit...(did I spell that correctly?)

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

Who gives a fuck? I don't really believe in marriage anyway...I think it goes against human nature.

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Every room! I love fireplaces :D

92. Do you want to get married?

Fuck no.

Sugary Rainbow Cupcake Kitty

So.

Ivy is moving.

I feel like Hell.

Can't believe Mister J thinks I'm an alcoholic.

I got a new phone.

Mister J wants to get me a hooker in TJ, because I need to get laid.

Falafel and tabouli are yummy.

I know it's not Thursday but hashtag #throwback;

This is the Infamous Bunny when she was seventeen, a major pothead and frightful flirt.

My crazy fashion sense....

Ivy, Catwoman and I, back in the day ^^

I thought I was a pinup girl *laugh*

Smoking a cigar on my favorite steps (we used to get blazed there all the time).

Behind The Library (refer to many previous posts).

Back when I used to wear raver kandi....

There was a short-lived scene phase somewhere in there.

My messy room way back when...and lollipops that Ivy gave me.

Ivy and I right after her eighteenth birthday (I was between sixteen and seventeen in all these pictures).

Eating a cannabis muffin= my favorite pastime in high school. And my old computer, do you see the motherboard in the cardboard box?

Maybe posting old pictures should be a new thing on this blog....we'll see.

Natural Selection Is Dead

I stopped believing in God as soon as I heard 'Let Me Take Another Selfie' •_•

Ivy's husband can't cook, I'm glad people can't read minds...everyone around me would be forever offended by me.

I spend a lot of time arguing with various people, because not a lot of people understand the way I think.

Adulthood for me has been about controlling my violent streak...

Today I'm wearing Mister J's old Army sweats and the top from last night, because I just don't give a fuck right now.

Trench Coat Man confessed his love today, it was adorable.

The question now is how do I feel?

Our personalities are so completely alike that I can't help but imagine this working out...

He answers questions with questions too...he understands trust issues, he knows what it's like to give up on relationships.

I can't say it though, not yet....

It's strange but I really like this guy, finally someone who wants to get kicked out of public places with me.

Isn't that what I loved about Satan, isn't that the number one quality that I look for in a guy?

I want a rebellious nerd, this is the type of guy that I need in my life.

We kept getting yelled at in the ER for laughing hysterically, the hospital staff thought it was pretty entertaining though.

I slept a full five hours last night, yay!

Spent the night talking to my Man in The Trench Coat, but he goes to bed a little early for my taste.

Soooo I talked to Satan 'til like 3 or 4....

He showed me this awesome anime and I'm really stoked about it, can't believe he thinks the "milk joke" is still funny after all these years, his cat is cute, he actually said goodnight instead of "late"...I'm glad that he was eating poptarts and whipped cream, because it means he's off his weird vegetarian health kick.

I guess I say caramel weird too...

I'm ridiculous when I'm tired *sigh*

I miss him a lot and stuff.

Ivy is in the middle of Fairy Tail right now.

*laugh*

Moooochi ice cream....ugh, I want.

Ichigo-nekochan texted me this morning, I'm weirdly happy to hear from her.

Ivy and I watched Totoro...

Anime in English is just really fucking annoying, fuck pandering to the masses.

I hate this fucking country, I don't fit society's ideals here.

Dude, Akatsuki from Log Horizon.

She's soooo badass, *sigh*

I was like, "Of course she's a chick."

Satan's like, "Right?!" :D

He and I have fun together...it's nice to know people who think the way I do.

He told me that female best friends are like a "yes man"....it's totally true though.

He said I should just always say what's on my mind instead, because then people won't expect anything else.

I'm seriously considering it, but then I'll end up alone like he is.

Maybe that's better.

Up All Night, Wondering Why...

Good morning.

It's a good time to post; last night was fucked.

So Ivy and I went out to see a bunch of accquiantiances from high school (as it turns out, the nerds are fun).

It was at my old condo complex (I was trippin' the whole time, 'cause of weird nostalgia and flashbacks).

Ivy was with her boy (I guess he was friends with all of those people when we were all in school together, weird I never knew him before recently).

The reason I didn't associate with them very often?

A few of them hated me and I was too busy getting baked to have actual friendships.

I love adulthood sometimes...it was Ivy's brother's girlfriend, the guy I got my Poly-Sci book from, that one guy who dated that bitch from the "Japanese culture club" (it was totally just the anime club, and they all hated me...except Southern Boy and Ichigo-nekochan), and Whatshisname drove down to see me.

(They all nicknamed him dumbass a really long time ago, it was funny).

We played Cards Against Humanity, I couldn't quit laughing the entire time.

Then Ivy got a call from her husband, he found out about her boy.

And we left abruptly after that, she ran down the street crying, so I called Mister J to talk some sense into her.

We came back to her house, her husband is the lowest of the scum of the entire Earth, and I don't know what to do for her anymore.

She won't make the one decision that could save her, because she's scared of that asshole she had the misfortune to get knocked up by and marry.

I spent the night talking to my Man in The Trench Coat (he told me a funny story about Chuck the Eskimo Tiger Bear Walrus and Paul the Mexican Penguin), Satan (he promised to slap me if I was ever stupid enough to marry a douchebag), and Kingpin (he said he'd come hang out with me to take my mind off all this nonsense).

Whatshisname offered to come pick me up so we could get drunk off Jackie D and watch Star Wars, but I can't leave Ivy alone right now.

Speaking of which, she wants me to help her clean the house to appease her dickhead husband...I don't get why she's so scared of him.

I'm going back to sleep for a little bit, wish me luck for today.

It's weird, but I'm kinda sad that last night was ruined...I was so happy to have the Ivy I knew and loved back, we were all chillin' just like back in school...brought back all kinds of fond memories of the years that have passed.

But this is proof that adulthood is serious, the decisions that you choose to make will affect the rest of your life in its entirety.

Turn Off The Idiot Box

Good morning, it's the beginning of Nouruz today.

Aideht choma mabahrak.

(It's hard to spell Farsi with the Latin alphabet)

I always get a little sad around this time of year, because I don't really have family members to celebrate with.

My gloomy mood always seems to last from the end of March 'til my birthday at the end of April...even if springtime is my favorite season, it's a little bittersweet for me.

I'm nervous about hanging out with Whatshisname tonight (too lazy to find a nickname for this one).

Because I should stop hanging out with guys who are like this.

I'm nervous about seeing Ivy later too, I really just don't want to get into a fight with her.

Meh, I don't really wanna hang out with that guy either (resisting the urge to tell a pointless backstory).

He's the reason I came up with the rule that "sometimes a guy just needs someone to hold, and sometimes it's okay to be that girl," back when I was fourteen and eternally stupid.

I say that Beauty and The Beast is my favorite Disney movie, but honestly it would have to be The Black Cauldron; it's a pity that nobody knows about this movie.

So my favorite princess would have to be Eilonwy...

The books were amazing, they're all based loosely on Welsh mythology.

My OTP is totally Asuna and Kirito (yes, I'm aware that everyone ships them anyway, it's a good combination).

I hate how season 2 is all fan-service.

*über annoyed*

I'm cooking dinner for Ivy and her asshole husband tonight, then we're gonna go see her "boyfriend" later.

Whatshisname is being...typical.

Not that I care all that much, I prefer my knight in a long black trench coat.

Wanna know a secret?

He totally doesn't wear a trench coat...wanna know another secret?

I'm totally crazy about him.

Ivy is watching Fairy Tail, I'm kinda excited that she likes anime now.

How did everything I love become so trendy though?

At least it's easier to find merch now...

Did I totally, actually post twice today?

Yep, I sure did.

I'm working on another serious post that I'll probably put up in a few days, we'll see how I'm feeling.

Is it weird now that I'm older that I prefer Pokemon in the original Japanese?

Wanna Tell The World To Blow Me!

Why do all the stories that I hear and/or tell begin with either, "This one time when I was drunk..." Or "I almost got laid, but..."

Happy Saint Patrick's Day.

Fun fact; he isn't even Irish, it used to be a dry holiday, nobody in Ireland even really celebrates it.

This week's girl crush (since it's actually Wednesday) is Jess Ingle, one of my favorite Youtubers.

Another fun fact; she's currently pregnant! (I think it's twenty-something weeks now, for fear of getting the exact week wrong).

The only girl who ever looked good with orange hair.

I'm supposed to hang out with people tomorrow, but I don't want to.

I feel so anti-social lately, the only person that I'm not ignoring is The Man in The Trench Coat (he needs a shorter name).

I'll deal with that (and everything else) later.

{Just realised it's Tuesday, this whole being nocturnal thing messes up time perception}

The Lost City of Mu & Smokestack Lightning

The heart of a story is in the details...

When I was fourteen I wrote that it always felt right kissing Satan, it always has...it probably always will.

Remember when he demoted me to high-fives because I punched him?

And when he used to wait for me outside of Geography class...it's weird that I could have so many memories of him when we were always fighting all the time.

(I have a feeling this post is just going to be all about him, bear with me)

He used to talk about me a lot...he told all my friends how I broke his heart.

That one time when we were on his bed and he almost started crying because of all the girls who fucked him over, I couldn't even say anything because I fucked him over too.

He was always picking me up, spinning me around, carrying me "bridal style"...giving me cigarettes, listening to me complain about bullshit, dealing with me drunk, high, bawling my eyes out...he dealt with me screaming and swearing at him...he dealt with me teasing him, and crashing at his house all the time.

It's a wonder he still talks to me at all...

When it comes down to it he really was always there for me, no matter how much we fought.

He was such a huge part of my life for such a long time, little wonder that I'll always love him.

Mister J keeps teasing me that I'll always have a soft spot for Satan.

{Stay tuned for Part Two}

Untold Oceans of Darkness Beyond

Maybe another post is in order, because I can.

People give me anxiety...like when someone texts me I just suddenly get really anxious...same with phone calls and messages.

This is why I spend so much time ignoring my phone.

I found out Kuma-kun still reads this, he said he'll stop when he gets a girlfriend.

I guess I should take a moment to thank him, he gave me something I thought I had lost; he gave me back the will to live.

However briefly we were together, he somehow managed to bring me out of my mental coma.

He deserves a thank you.

Even if he's a hipster who listens to music that can be purchased at Starbucks.

(I swear it's just a joke, don't be offended)

I just wish everyone would quit making dick jokes about him.

Ivy is pissing me off, but that's usual right now.

The reason I should stay single is because I can't seem to find people who understand real shit...everyone has their heads up their asses.

I'm not even gonna start complaining about my friends...

It's rattlesnake season, I'm stressed out, life is life.

That just about sums up everything.

These could be the most brilliant tattoos ever; if you can guess the bands I'll love you forever.

I have a weird obsession with clocks and keys...it's always been this way, don't ask me why.

"So you're tired of living? Feel like you might give in? Well, don't; 'cause when you wake up everything's gonna be fine. I guarantee that you wake in a better place, in a better time."

I'll Be Dead Wrong and You'll Be Just Fine

I'm going to be single forever, I'm not the settling down type.

By now I should have learned this about myself.

I made that guy take that personality quiz, he got INTP...who would've thought...I was just curious.

The Jester finally understands why I have to take a step back from this whole partying lifestyle...it took a story about me puking in front of a stranger for him to be supportive.

Mister J says I need to "let my 'freak flag' fly."

He's telling me I should just let myself be crazy, because one day I'll wake up and regret not living life.

I'm too stressed out to go live the way I used to...

Mister J wants to go kick Sex Shop Guy's ass and get my knife back.

*sigh*

Ivy thinks her husband is gonna kick her out.

I have nothing to say.

How do I get wrapped up in other people's lives?

As if my own life isn't chaotic enough?

Alley Cat is hormonal and pregnant...and calls me crying.

I'm just going to go back to devoting all my time to video games.

"At least she has her priorities straight."

Haha, some really awesome guy said that to his friend about me the other day.

Somebody also called me a "good woman" the other day, that's a first.

Alley Cat introduced me to one of her friends, he thought I was twenty five.

He didn't believe me when I told him my real age, but that happens all the time...I'm kind of used to it.

Although when people find out my real age they always tease me about it.

So here's the plan;

I have to fix my car, find a job, move out, and learn to breathe.

Right?

As far as Ivy goes; I'm not sure if I can help her.

And with relationships?

I'll probably just start hanging out with Satan all the time...because he's fun and there's no commitment.

What about this other guy though?

He talks to me on Skype every night for hours, even though he could be doing something more interesting like gaming; he talks to me all day, even when he's busy; he understands me perfectly...but I just don't know.

Also he lives far away-ish...

Found out my aunt moved to Vegas and is a realtor there, I always liked her and I'm happy we're talking.

I guess that's all, I don't even know...I'm so fucking depressed these days.

And check out this show in Canada;

Killer, right?

And that awesome guy sent me this;

(It's totally true)

Mortality Sucks; Immortality Sucks; Everything Sucks

Um, so...

Lots of shit floating through my head these days.

It's weird to have met someone who understands me so completely...I'm a little shocked.

Shocked by the circumstance in which we became accquainted, and the situation we find ourselves in.

Ivy's new boy used to live in the condominium complex that I lived in during high school.

They made out under the gazebo, and as she was telling me that pointless story too many of my own memories flashed through my mind.

Mostly involving Satan and I...kissing under the stars, shouting at each other from a balcony...yes, like Romeo and Juliet...so many silly memories...things you might find in a fairy tale.

I miss him, it could break my heart again if there was anything left within me that could possibly shatter.

I'm still pissed that my $300 knife somehow went missing, even though the only place I was is Ivy's house...I'd bet all my money that Sex Shop Guy jacked it.

I should stop choosing to flirt with guys like this.

Should we talk about this other guy?

I don't know...should we?

I'm terrified of this for more than one reason.

But I've never met anyone who understands my bad days, the trauma I've lived through, and my weird obsession with My Little Pony.

He seems like a keeper...except he's not my type and he's much older than me.

Try ten years older....The Jester and Ivy said it doesn't matter how old he is or what he looks like.

And it's not that weird considering that I was going to marry someone who was like thirty-two when I was seventeen.

Yep, another one of my secrets is out...I was engaged at one point, to a Dutch guy.

*laugh*

I certainly have had a strange life.

Also found this on the Internet today;

That's exactly what you think it is.

Lovecraft drinking tea with Cthulhu, and Poe with his raven.

I suppose that's all...

All Roads Lead To Hell

I'm so done with meeting people, I think I got it all out of my system.

After last night I'm over it, but I would've killed to kiss him...I miss lip rings.

And he has a real job, is responsible, likes alternative films, doesn't smoke weed...but he probably won't ever talk to me again.

I'm done with all this, I'm just gonna go back to being a cat lady.

I think I should stop drinking...I think I could have a legitimate problem.

So swearing off liquor, upset over my own stupidity and this guy I really like, lost in life, don't know how I'm going to deal with the things that are coming my way...

The Jester said there's some kind of astronomical disturbance with Mercury, and that's why everything is off.

A nine year old kid taught me how to play Minecraft today.

I've been meeting lots of fellow introverts lately, it's nice to be around my own kind.

Is it weird that I have more in common with people in their late twenties-early thirties than I do with people my own age?

Last guy I met and seriously got along with is twenty nine...that's two guys in their late twenties in the last month.

If he had a nickname for this blog it would be Grilled Cheese, because...inside joke.

I was gonna talk to Satan last night, but by the time he called I had already gone to bed (going to bed happened around 4:00am-ish, he called at like 4:30).

Yesterday was exhausting...this post is like almost two continuous days of being awake, almost three.

I've slept less than four hours in three days...this is nonsense.

I can't believe Sex Shop Guy is ignoring me now, and I still can't find my favorite knife.

This week is burnt (and burnt is burnt).

Just Get Here Eventually

Mister J always hated Satan because he reminded him of a worse version of himself when he was a teenager.

He always told me that Satan wouldn't figure out his life 'til his mid-twenties, and it's up to me if I want to wait around for that.

They think so alike though, say the same shit all the time...it's weird.

Some ex (yet another one) said that I sound lost and he thought I was "the type of girl who was a tad more in touch with my own destiny."

I'm not though...at all.

I don't know what happened.

My life is too complicated...

Poor Ivy is starting to crumble under her own bad choices.

All these guys want to date me, screw me, or both; I'm not feeling it.

I did meet one sweet guy, I'm kinda wondering what's wrong with him; there's always something wrong with them.

Catwoman keeps randomly texting me...this is probably more than she has talked to me in like a year.

It's strange, this week is totally off.

I'm flirting with some of my old flirting buddies, just enjoying it.

This one guy though...I'm a little enamored.

I'm not sure what I should be looking for, I don't know what I honestly need in my life.

Maybe that's because I'm still hurt...

The worst thing is still sleeping alone, I'm going to go find someone who hates it too.

I just need somebody to help me sleep...and possibly a different one for sex?

I'm kinda falling into old habits with this whole thing.

I got a "Good morning :)" from the cute guy I met off that site, he seems sweet.

And the guy from the sex shop is 27...

He says he normally has a cut-off for girls under 22, but "You're a cutie and seem like a sweetheart, so I'll make an exception."

Have I ever dated a guy eight years older than I am?

Yes...

Do I want to do this right now?

I'm not sure???

Although I'm not actually looking to date anyone, just looking for chill people to kick it with.

He wants to hang out tonight; is this a good idea?

Who fucking knows?

Am I over-analyzing everything?

Should I just be having fun?

It's not like I really get along with people my own age anyway...

Everyone just seems immature as fuck to me.

At this moment I just wanna wing it, have some fucking fun.

After we had the age conversation he stopped talking to me, I hope he's not put off by how young I am.

Whatever.

I changed my phone wallpaper again...

And I got Star Wars mice for my cats.

I don't wanna get up, but I have to leave in an hour...

Merlin is cuddling with his Chewbaca, it's adorable.

My cats purr when they sleep.

I'm so burnt.

I should stick with beer or some shit, like Jesus fucking Christ,

I'm so hungover, and just fuck.

I'm a fucking dipshit.

I'm swearing off hard liquor for good this time...

Lost my favorite knife, and I smell like puke.

Fuck my shit, god I'm so stupid.

Everything Counts in Large Amounts

Ivy is like, "I just wanna cuddle my man and cry."

And I said, "Me too...except that I don't have one to cuddle with."

"You could cuddle [insert Satan's name] {laugh}"

"He'd be like, 'Get the fuck off me, you stupid bitch.'"

"Those exact words, like literally," she started cracking up when she said this.

We both know it's true...not that he's never consoled me when I cried, he's just uncomfortable with emotions.

He would probably say that to me...

Which is why I'll never date him again, not that either of us believes in relationships anymore.

Ivy was laughing that I didn't know all the people he's slept with..."You were totally blind," she said.

I was when it came to him though.

Is it bad that I'm kinda tired of being covered in baby drool and sticky shit?

Which is why I'd be a shitty parent, I don't think I can handle kids.

Ivy is a much more compassionate person than I am.

Kuma-kun might get a tv series?

I'm really happy that he's following his dreams.

Ivy's cat adores me...

Other than all that?

I met a cute guy on that site...he reads Tolkien and is in the process of building chain-mail based on Assassin's Creed.

I'm a sucker for guys who are into High Fantasy...

Ivy called me weird because I told her the first three minutes of the conversation was about Spawn.

She's like, "How did you do that?! Just start talking about that?"

Erm, because I know what I want in a guy and I know what guys want in a girl.

More specifically with these types of guys the easiest way to have conversations is to just say whatever pops into my head?

Which generally happens to be fantasy, anime, video games, or comics?

Since this is what my entire brain is pretty much comprised of... 

I have 58 "secret admirers" on this site, like geez.

They're mostly just douchebags who want someone to smoke with and get laid.

Oooh, but that guy also plays guitar...you know how I feel about guys who play bass/drums/guitar...

Well, actually, I don't think I've ever had a thing with a guitar player; somehow I always end up with bassists and drummers.

There are a lot of hot girls on this site, some of them sent me messages...but they're like seventeen...

No underage chicks, for multiple reasons.

I always get weird messages on sites like this...earlier I got one that said "if we were having sex in a booth at the back of a sex shop and a random guy stuck his dick through the hole, would you suck it? Be honest."

What, are you stupid?

Killed too many brain cells with incest?

I mean really...

Just now I got; "kik me, you're hot ;$"

What the fuck is that even?

I did get a Kik though, out of boredom.

Guy from the sex shop was like, "Hope you're getting some sleep."

It was cute, Ivy and I are still trying to figure out his age; so far our guess is mid-twenties.

How do you just straight up ask someone their age?

I just got ten messages in a literal two minutes all asking for my Kik...what has Ivy gotten me into?

I'm not sixteen anymore, is it okay for me to be meeting people online like this?

In high school we all did this, all of us had MyYearbook accounts...but aren't I a little old for this shit?

Apparently a lot of my friends have them still...I keep seeing people that I know, it's bizarre.

Oh, it's called MeetMe nowadays.

Doesn't that sound sheisty anyway?

Haha, some guy just said he wanted to sneak me into his room, this is laughable.

People on this site though, I keep getting hit on by middle-aged men.

So gross....

There's a lot of creepy guys my own age on there too, but it's not like I don't know guys like that in real life; at least on the Internet I don't have to respond.

Why is everyone obsessed with "thigh gaps"...has society found yet another way to pointlessly make girls feel bad about themselves?

Ivy and Satan got in a fight on Facebook today...because she's way too easily offended, and takes everything too personally.

*sigh*

I'm tired of her bad moods...

I'm tired of having to defend Satan, even though I think the same way he does...I'm just less open about it, more diplomatic, less inclined to say what I'm actually thinking.

Which is where my autopilot responses come from...the same responses that Satan tells me not to give him.

Hence the reasons I love him, he lets me be who I am without putting any expectations on me.

Now Ivy wants to literally kill him, and I am tired of dealing with everybody's moods all the time.

She honestly just needs to get the fuck over it, not everyone thinks the way she does...she has to accept that.

This is where my whole "I need new friends" came from...why I stopped talking to her and everyone else.

They don't think the way I do, and I constantly feel the need to be anything other than what I am.

Satan gets that about me, he prefers me as I am...but he has his own fucking issues.

I don't like my friends...I don't!

Ivy is sweet most of the time, but there are core parts of her personality that I cannot handle.

I don't want friends who are so goddamn judgmental, who get angry over things that don't fucking matter...over-fucking-emotional.

Oh, wait, that's why I didn't have female friends before recently, when Ivy and I started hanging out again.

I play along with it, but I'm not actually having fun...I'm mentally exhausted by the need to act like just another girl with typical thoughts.

She doesn't get me, so I just go back to being the person I was in high school.

And then we suddenly get along, and that's what I complained about through the entirety of high school.

Playing a part in a life that I'm not really living...

I get to be the wonderful best friend, nice and supportive.

Really?

I just wanna shake Ivy and tell her to be sensible for once in her fucking life...because she fucked up her own life.

I love her, but she's being stupid.

And this whole, "I'm gonna move in with my new boyfriend immediately after I get divorced?"

Like she didn't know that having a kid and marrying some douchebag that she knew for less than a year would fuck up her life?

But she doesn't believe in abortion...but she believes in sleeping with another guy, in her house, in her bed, while she's still married, without a condom.

Satan doesn't like her because she makes decisions like that...he doesn't like Catwoman also for the bad decisions she makes.

He doesn't wanna deal with their bullshit.

I don't fucking wanna deal with their bullshit...but I'm oh, so loyal and I've known them for years.

So I'm just always patient and supportive, when half the time I feel like telling everyone to fuck off.

I need to relax...everything works itself out.

Life goes on.