Kitty used to tell me that I say "I love you", instead of "I'm sorry".
This is pretty much true.
Today is April, 26, 2011.
Three years ago today is the day that I met Satan.
I find it ironic that he chose today as the day to have a somewhat civil conversation with me (after being a complete ass recently), I doubt he remembers the significance of this day though.
I've been trying to write for days, I just can't.
I was thinking about my grandmother earlier, and I was thinking about all the years that have passed.
All these random details just float around in my head, but my memories never have been linear.
I couldn't stop crying earlier, I have no idea why.
Suddenly I just couldn't choke back my tears.
I always get depressed around my birthday though, it just happens.
And I've already been so depressed lately.
I'm also failing basically all my classes, there's no reason for that either.
There was a time when I always made my presence known because I wanted to play a part in this world, I don't anymore.
No one even hears me speak anymore; it's not because I'm not speaking, it's because no one is listening.
There used to be a time when I would've cared, not so much now.
I hardly ever even have the energy to express anything, I make all these concious decisions to give cookie-cutter answers and even to just not say anything at all.
A year ago I would've never done that, not ever in my life have I been content to sit quietly.
It's as if I simply have no energy to be anything or do anything, or even want anything.
I don't exist, and I'm pretty sure the world behind the glass is an illusion too.
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