Already Rolling In My Grave

"I'm gonna get my life together," I say, as I sit here with an ounce of weed.

*sigh*

Can we just #stonerproblems

Does anyone remember that one website???

What was it?

ThatHigh.com

Real thing right there, that was highschool for me.

Not that much ever really changes...

The only time I ever thought I was gonna quit for good is after Mister J went into rehab.

But like clockwork I eventually started up again.

And I'm writing this now as I'm smoking an ounce of weed.

I want Miss Cherry to come home...

Have I ever mentioned her before?

She's been such a huge part of my life these past few years, but this blog has missed a lot of my life during that span of time.

There's been months that I've gone without a single post.

But to tell you the truth during those spans of time I'm not sure what I would've written about.

I want Miss Cherry to teach me how to cook and to do my nails, and to go out with, experiment with drinks, smoke weed with...

Honestly she's been the closest thing to a mother since maybe my grandmother.

The only other person who ranks close is my old mentor.

*sigh*

And I miss her brownies, I swear they could cure anything.

Did I mention I have a cold and it fucking sucks?!

Rawr.

I'm going to bed now.

"Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the gremlins bite! *chomp, chomp*"

Just another thing to make me sad.

I'll never get to hear him say it again.

But I get to read it every night in a meaningless routine text...

Is it weird that out of everything, that's the thing that hurts the most.

I wish he'd quit saying it altogether, it just makes me want to cry.

Can you tell that I'm really not over it?

As much as I'm trying to be.

I haven't been this whole "months-worth-of-crying" bent out of shape since the infamous "Satan breakup".

And that is terrifying.

I've already sworn off men and dating....

Which means lots of casual lesbian sex for me! (Yay!)

I didn't think that he'd be the guy to send me to the other team like that.

Can't believe how hurt I am over all this stupid shit.

But I said I didn't believe in dating, and I said I wanted a friend to watch tv with and fuck occasionally, and I told myself I wasn't going to get attached.

So we all know where I am now.

He's going to the bar and hanging out with his friends, his life seems like it's back to normal.

*more sigh*

I really need to get over this ;^;