Falling Asleep & Forgotten Loves

Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've never met?

Would it be odd if I said that some part of me truly grew to love The Man in The Trench Coat?

I didn't realize it 'til I talked to him for the first time in over six months.

I heard his voice and started to tear up....I didn't expect to have that reaction.

The only other INTP I've ever met. *sigh*

He moved from being 40 minutes away from me to a completely different state.

His friends still ask about me and call me his girl.

He still calls me cute all the time.

We caught up, it was wonderful.

He's really happy now, and that's amazing to hear....I can't actually express how happy I am for him.

So there ended up being two men that I will always love.

Imagine that, I don't know how this happened.

Eleven (or twelve) days until mercury retrograde is over, three days to imbolc, and the majority of things going wrong in mercury retrograde seem to be sorting themselves out.

Are you going to ask me about Cute Nameless Boy?

(I don't know what else to call him).

He's picking me up tomorrow after work.

Apparently he's taking me to a show, his friend's band is playing.

My moshing skills are not that great...

(I can skank and slam dance, I guess though)

Did you know Kevin Smith's daughter has a giant pet bun?

I'm really fucking tired.

And that job I got?

Oi, maybe all this shit is not worthy of the blog and I should write it in a journal like a normal person.

This year feels so odd already.

People are appearing that I haven't spoken to in ages.

I'm going to bed now.

More on the crazy later.

Quick Update; I am now the Queen of Hell.

I'm slowly but surely falling for him.

Haha, he doesn't have a name in this blog even.

But he melts my heart.

Literally, we click so well.

And we've been this way for literally months, we've just been getting closer....

I'm scared, but I feel like I shouldn't be.

He's gonna come "steal" me next weekend.

Be still, my beating heart.

My heart is always dropping down to my stomach and waking up all those pesky butterflies, they get pretty riled up *cheap laugh*

I know I'm not that funny...

Life ain't too shabby.

I have tea and udon, and a really awesome person who genuinely likes me....I have a big empty house and even though it's a total wreck, at least it's mine.

And I have good friends who love me, and a few people who I considered family (though not by blood, which may actually be better).

I feel blessed and I think this year will be amazing.

It's been difficult and painful to get here, but I am slowly crawling my way out of the gutter.

Moments of happiness are always worth the hardships and troubles, this is what I've learned.

You know you love someone when you love their cat as much as you love your own.

Maybe other cat people understand me when I say that.

I dunno, I've never asked another cat owner about that.

I'm stoned and I have a cold....

I probably don't know what I'm talking about.

50? Stupid questions from a stupid sick girl.

Out of boredom let me answer some more pointless questions.

I have a cold.

Crazy shit has been going on.

I'm not sure what to write.

I misplaced my favorite pen.

Help.

1. Height;

5'5

2. Weight;

I have no clue, I honestly can't remember the last time I weighed myself, probably like 130 lbs

3. Age;

20 going on 40. Kidding. I'll be 21 in 4 months though.

4. Birfday;

April, 29th

5. I'm bored....

6. Why would you even want to know all this pointless crap anyway?

7. Crush;

Cute boy, who I think I offended earlier. Imagine that. And Karen Gillan, omg she's so amazing.

8. Last text;

"[name] sent [name] a pic of [name] saying that she is his daughter... what the fuck? that wouldnt be possible. i got pregnant the week i moved to florida."

People keep tryna start shit.

9. Battery percentage;

92% yo

10. Eye color;

Shit brown. Jk. Somebody told me I have gold in my eyes the other day, I'm not sure if that's a crock of shit.

11. Addiction;

Too sick to be creative. Die in a fire.

12. Favorite song;

Giving up, giving in- catch 22/streetlight manifesto (catch 22 version is better, js)

13. Favorite animal;

Khajit-bun hybrid.

14. Favorite color;

I've been really liking green lately. Idk wtf is going on.

15. Sing in the shower;

Fuck in the shower?

16. One wish;

Not to have any regrets at the end of my life.

17. Best time in your life;

Meh. My life is consistently up & down.

18. Country you live in;

'Merica. Land of deep fried idiots.

19. Pets;

2 Khajits, 1 dwarf Viking, and 1 red nosed grrrrr

20. Plan on getting married;

Ha!

21. Favorite subject;

Eat my shorts.....would you be surprised if I said Lit?

22. First kiss;

Asshole.

23. Insecure;

Oh, yeah, can't you tell how insecure I am? *sarcasm sign* nobody should ever be insecure, it's pointless.

24. Ever self-harmed;

Mmm, yes. Unfortunately.

25. Who you love;

A chicken shit who loves me back.

26. Miss anyone;

I miss Catwoman, The Jester, Satan, and cute boy who is ignoring me right now (for god knows what reason). Maybe I don't miss him, maybe he can take his emotional bullshit and go fuck himself.

27. Hair color;

Brunette for one more week. And then the mystery color of indecisiveness. 

28. Do I really wanna keep answering these?

I have nothing better to do with my time.

29. Relationship status;

Black widow. I marry men and then kill them for riches and cocaine.

30. Last song you heard;

Is it weird that I actually can't remember?

Ummm, ska??

31. Biggest fear;

Idiots taking over. Oh, wait, that's reality.

32. Believe in ghosts;

Yes.

33. Something you hate;

I hate too many things and people for this to be a valid question.

34. Favorite show;

I don't actually watch tv...

35. Favorite movie;

Is it cliché if I say Clerks? SLC Punk! Is the second one. I swear my movie choices aren't vapid, angsty cigarette commercials.

36. Favorite book;

Can't decide. Something by Vonnegut?

37. Favorite food;

Sushi

38. Jealous of;

Too tired to be clever. I don't get jealous of people because I think I'm awesome. Although I admire people who can dance professionally or know how to play the violin.

39. Star sign;

You mess with the bull....yeah, no. I'm one of those stubborn sun signs.

40. Middle name;

Beetlejuice.

Haha, Lady Erin of the Emerald Isle.

41. Worst habit;

Dealing with people who mentally exhaust me.

42. Siblings;

Only a couple of half-siblings that I haven't seen in like 8 years.

43. Talents;

Making an ass out of myself, disposing of corpses, jokes that are so dry that they're actually not funny...

44. Embarrassing moment;

Do people actually have those?! Pffft!

45. Future career choice;

Serial killer, 17th century poet, drow elf, feline...crazy person?

46. There was supposed to be 50 questions....how did this happen?

Dead Tired & Too Stoned To Care.

How do you survive a broken heart?

They never fucking heal.

"...haunt you, taunt you, until the day you die."

Oh, right, I'm rambling.

Because I'm reading old journals in light of the recent events that have transpired.

He never really leaves my life, does he?

Years ago we had a Star Wars moment where I told him that I loved him and he said, "I know."

Mister J says that there's a part of him that still loves me, buried deep.

I'm overcome with confusion.

After all these years is this really the path that we'll walk?