Boys....

I can't contain my frustration with guys in general.
They think girls send mixed signals?
I just want to find someone who shares my interests and who isn't
Consumed with pointless drama.
But every guy that I meet is either a jerk or can't make up his mind, it's absolutely terrible (and I've been complaining about this for years).
I'm never going to find anyone who's right for me, and I'm so lonely....
Remember when I used to always talk about Satan?
Well, we haven't spoken in god knows how long....I had a dream about him last night and I woke up to a facebook message from him.
This is strange.
I've been thinking about him a lot lately, but this is just really weird.

Something Profound

So sometimes I'm silly, stupid, or simply wrong. And we all sometimes ask ourselves why we do things....but did you learn something from the decision you just made?
And are you happy in this one moment?
That's what I've realized is important, the things that make you smile for no particular reason....and those are the things that we live for.

Sometimes we miss the past, but the future could be so much brighter. I want it to be brighter, and maybe it will be.

"I can't forget the past or imagine the future, I can't imagine my life without the people who changed it"

A Last Day In The Land of Dreams

I can't wait to move into my own apartment this summer...living with other people is driving me crazy.

Well, it's 2 in the morning and I feel really hungover....

I just wish I could go make some food without waking anyone up, because I haven't had anything other than crackers since yesterday afternoon.....

Actually I take that back, because it's 2 am I haven't eaten since the day before yesterday.

The world passes by so quickly, the evening air, the fumes of the ocean....I realize that I'll always long for the past, I'll always long for this place.
The scents on the air, nostalgia in my heart.....and I remember now my long lost loves.

A Typical Night As of Late

Nights like these coffee is my only friend, the only light in this darkness is beaming off the television.
I'm too young for this, I'm supposed to be full of life.
But here it is, reality knocking on my door....

Some Comments on My Mother

So I finally met my mom's new boyfriend. I knew him for an hour before he started trying to give me advice and tell me what to do.
He seems nice though, and smart....but just as crazy as my mom.
I think their personalities compliment each other.
My final word on the subject: I like him.
I don't think my mom could live with someone sane, he also seems like he really loves and cares about my mom.
Speaking of my mom, obviously our relationship is better now.
We never disagree or fight anymore, and he makes her happier than I've ever seen her.
They're good for each other, it's a great thing.
Good job, mom, on finally finding someone nice, intelligent, and laid back.

The Scent of Salt on The Wind

I miss singing, I miss the way it feels like flying, you catch your heart smiling. It's better than being in love.
The notes strummed on the guitar.
It's a dream of mine to perform, but for the moment I sing to walls and empty rooms.
It's like that teenage dream, the movie moment when the boy falls in love with the girl because of the song she sings.
There's so much that I used to wish for, but the melody of my dreams floated away on the ocean breeze.
The notes scattered with the ashes of my poetry.
The curtain has fallen on the stage of a deserted theater.
And I cry for what I've lost, for the things that will never be again.

Some Bitterness With Your Breakfast?

It saddens me that even ex-druggie, 50 year old rockers who've never had a career in their life would give all their money to pay for their daughter to become a professional ballet dancer; and my parents wouldn't even keep me in school long enough to graduate.
I feel so bitter sometimes, so hopeless and lost.
But I guess that's normal in this day and age. This era of apathy, corruption, and a brainwashed population.

The End For Now

Hi. I've been away for a long time.
I'm not really the same person I was when I left.
I'm disenchanted, sad...without spark or cleverness.
I can barely even spell anymore.
My brain rotted inside my head.
I couldn't have an intelligent conversation to save my life.
I miss what used to be....but I've lost so much.
And now come a difficult decision.
The decision to stop writing this blog until I can find my inspiration and my joy again.
Until my passion for the art of writing returns I have no reason to litter this metaphorical page with my thoughts.
The brilliance of my light is dying.