I Wanna Take Off My Pants!

Ivy said I'm a fucking moron *laugh*

She meant it in a nice way, "Tia is muy loco!" Is what she said afterwards.

I've had too much caffeine...

Her husband and I get along really well, it's weird.

He's like, "I like having her here!"

(Referring to me)

And he calls me nanny and auntie...

He was joking about me being their second child.

He also said he'd give me a dollar if I guessed what this quote was from (some Fight Club quote).

Ivy keeps joking that we should get married...

It's funny as fuck.

Fork called me, on a three-way with one of his friends (I adore his friends).

So Ivy and her husband and me and Fork and his friend were all talking, and shit, and it was fun.

I'm helping her get ready for the party tomorrow.

I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying, I love our randomness.

Even though I hate a lot of people, I manage to get along with almost anyone...it's strange.

We've been listening to Hootie & The Blowfish, Blues Traveller, Semisonic...and having fun.

What am I going to do when she leaves???

I'm nuts tonight, and Ivy is gonna kill me.

Her husband is still quizzing me on bands...I only got one wrong.

She's so scary, I laughed so hard tonight.....and we cleaned her whole house.

I'll laugh if I fall asleep upside down like this.

Fork went to bed, but I finally got to talk to him.

Man, my fucking brain is tired.

He thinks it's cute that I'm crazy, and he said one day I'll "find the right person and say this isn't a bad idea" (about marriage).

Because he sent me this;

"This will be you..."

And I said "if I ever have the misfortune to get married."

I'm even too tired for Madoka Magica, besides that series is seriously depressing me right now.

Everyone teases me about cursing at my TV (Fork's friend was joking about it earlier, it's kinda funny how many people bring that up).

I forgot to say that we hung out with this girl that I haven't seen since high school (like yesterday-ish, all the days are blurring together).

We all have an unspoken agreement that we don't tell stories about how I was in high school, she said it got boring after Ivy and I graduated.

Because we were the last of the fun people...damn kids (she's a year younger than us).

She's pretty chill (she's always been), I remember that she hated me when we first met (I was like fourteen).

She was a good enough friend not to do anything with Satan way back when, because he and I had history...which is more than I can say for Ivy (she almost slept with him more than once back then, even though she was in love with his best friend).

My friends have pretty much all slept with each other, it was kinda normal I guess.

So, goodnight, because there doesn't need to be any more pointless anecdotes in this blog.

We saw a movie too...3 Days to Kill, it wasn't bad.

Okay, that's really all this time.

I can hear Ivy and her husband having sex upstairs, this is so awkward...

I shouted, "You guys are fucking loud!"

So Ivy came downstairs to tell me how there was cum everywhere.

So today was the party, I took lots of pictures, got fucking wasted...you know, the usual.

After the "kids party" was over we played beer pong, it's totally possible to be wasted off of beer (I had a lot).

I ended up puking while I was on the phone with Fork.

He stayed up with me all night and kept me from passing out in my own vomit.

I'm not even sure what I said to him, I can't remember anything after we came inside from beer pong.

Ivy's husband decided that my nickname is Shit Show (because my name starts with an 'S').

Her neighbor has started calling me "Slore" (bitch & whore as one word), but he was drunk.

One of her husband's married friends wanted to bone me (ewww, gross).

I guess I fell down the stairs a few times (or up the stairs?)

Ivy's husband has been quizzing me on 90s music for the last couple days.

And I dunno what else to talk about...

I'm fucking tired and hungover, and everything I eat tastes like vomit (it's morning now).

So this guy I made out with in Oceanside, a few people I went to middle school with, and a bunch of my friends from high school (basically people from all over San Diego County) are all friends.

Ten bucks says they met at a hardcore show....

I really do know everyone in this city, don't I?

I also made a new friend...I wanted to take him home so badly, he was like the dog of my dreams *sad kitten* ^~^

Demonic Muffins of Doom

Ivy eats so much junk food...

I had frozen pizza and iced coffee out of a carton for breakfast.

Ivy's husband keeps making jokes that every time he sees me I'm talking to a different guy.

"Did you talk to [Fork's name] today?!"

He's actually not as bad as I thought...they're both to blame for their fucked up marriage....they're both decent people when they're apart though, her husband is pretty funny.

They just shouldn't be married.

We went to the swap meet, I forgot how fun it is.

(I just wanna go there and buy tons of books)

We were at the knife booth and I was playing with a butterfly knife; Ivy was like, "Of course you're all slick with it..."

"[Satan] taught me years ago..."

"Of course he did...."

"Dyslexic lioness!"

I wanted to buy lucha libre masks and run around yelling "Nachoooo!"

But Ivy is a buzzkill...

(I miss my knife)

I saw a cute guy in a cow vest with a lip ring (yum!).

Fork hasn't been talking to me much lately, at this point idgaf.

I really enjoyed the comic booth, and I had a really long conversation with this guy selling retro video games.

Well, I dunno, I guess that's it...

(Ivy's husband's driving kinda fucking scares me)

Enjoy The Crash

I went to the Navy hospital with Ivy today, I was talking to the girl who works in the office, she got a cherry blossom tattoo while she was in Japan (she's only in her early twenties); makes me wonder if I should've joined the air force like everyone wanted me to.

Turning seventeen marked the beginning of my adult decisions, which have been nothing but stupid.

But we all know my decision making skills are not exactly fantastic....

Everyone (including Satan and Ivy's husband) make fun of the weird noises I make, I just squeak a lot and stuff.

I've never told anyone that I wake up crying sometimes, it just happens.

I've also never told anyone that I hear voices sometimes....just murmuring, mumbling, random words.....

The insurance company is asking Ivy if anyone was in the car with her when she got in her accident, I'm nervous about it.

Why do so many random phone numbers text me, I'm just like who the fuck?

Ivy's husband seems to like me better than he did before, because I like The Doors and Metallica.

Her neighbor asked us to go to the bar...

Ivy responded with, "she's underage!"

(Referring to me).

She's underage too...I'm so sick of people teasing me for how young I am....

When am I gonna stop feeling like I'm a kid?

It's my fault that all my friends are in their mid-twenties/thirties...

I think her neighbor likes me too, I got a "What's up, girl?"

Bud Light tastes like piss fyi.

Ivy thinks Fork really loves me, she's like, "You are so deep in that boy's heart and you don't even see it. I know you and I know that you don't do relationships well."

I know I can't do relationships, we've learned this a thousand times over.

But I'm smitten, infatuated, and totally just adore this guy.

He sends me pictures of what he's playing, what he's listening to, what he cooks for dinner every night...I send him pictures of my cats and random things I find cool and interesting throughout the day....

We talk every night and he's just as random and ridiculous as I am, he understands my moods and manages to fix them in a heartbeat.

I don't know if I can do this though...

It's the same way I felt when I first met Satan...that "we're young in love, let's go anywhere, this night is all that matters" kind of thing.

Except Fork is ten years older than me exactly, and we're fucking adults...we're not fifteen and this is real life.

His voice is calming to me...like I just love the sound of it...certain people, their presence is just instantly comforting to me.

He's one of those people...and I can think of a million reasons why.

I don't know...I wanted someone who's like me, I found him.

This is a mess....I don't need anyone else in love with me.

Fork and I ended up having a really serious conversation, it was kinda a buzzkill....I'm so super paranoid about shit.

He knows the Fuck Song and we sing it together (yes!)

I have the opening from Madoka Magica stuck in my head...(I'm so sad I finished Log Horizon already).

But yes...this guy that I'm seriously falling for, in the most ridiculously serious way possible.

Mister J would probably hate him, but he hates everyone.

Ivy said I get along well with her husband, I just get along well with guys in general.

Tomorrow is Ivy's going away party, so I'll write more later.

I spent the night tearing up my tights and watching Madoka Magica...("you and your anime" :p)

I'm Fork's punk rock girl and we're gonna get lots of tattoos together...I like his tattoos a lot, even though he got them for free and stuff...I like that they have meaning.

But, yeah, I think I've mastered the art of ripped tights (they look better in person).

Ivy's probably gonna be like wtf when she wakes up.

Also my cat drowned my Rainbow Dash plushie, because he's throwing temper tantrums that I'm gone.

*über pissed*

Poor Rainbow Dash :'(

Tragic Irony or Poetic Justice

Does anyone else wonder how Mrs. Cobblepot gave birth to the Penguin?

I mean how does that happen?

This is the kinda shit that keeps me up at night...

Ivy is leaving on the 4th, and I don't know what to say.

"What are the facts, and to how many decimal places? If it can't be expressed in figures then it is not science, it is opinion."

Satan actually gave me a lecture about feeding my cats "people food"...

It's funny that everytime I sneeze he says, "Hail, Satan!"

It reminds me of that one time I was walking home with him and that one guy I was dating (one of his friends), and some bible-thumper told us off for shouting "Hail Satan!"

*laugh*

Ivy is an ESFP...weird, right?

Totally didn't guess that one...

I told Satan, "This show is amazing!"

And he knew exactly what I was talking about, he's psychic.

I love Akatsuki, Nyanta, and Shiroe <3

Fork said he'll start playing WoW with me, I'm really excited, but really nervous because he's really good...like he helped develop the game...

*blush*

I really like him.

He said he's saving up money so I'll play Wakfu with him, he wants to "spoil me" by buying me gear and stuff.

I'm just like "eek! *hides*"

He's so cute...

*sigh*

He lives so far away though.

I'm all hearts over this guy, geez.

He said we've gotta start our co-op career, and I'm like, "sooo romantic!"

I'm gushing, I know, ssshhhh....

So, yeah, Log Horizon, I like that it's realistic; they talk about leveling, actual spells/cool-down times, classes, guilds, PvP, party formations when running dungeons, etc.

It's so awesome.

They've incorporated a real MMO into an anime, it's genius!

Satan has fantastic taste in anime, (ironic since when I met him he hated anime, except Naruto...feel free to laugh since this was years ago).

I'm so obsessed with this show, I just want to watch it forever.

Satan said Season 2 is coming out soon.

Ivy said I could dress her up in Lolita, so we're gonna do that whole matching thing that they do in Tokyo.

Oh, to go shopping in Shibuya, eat Soba, drink strawberry Ramune, and visit the Sanrio theme park would be such a dream....

You know they have vending machines that serve hot tea?!

I want to travel so badly *sigh*

Ivy is totally shipping characters from Fairy Tail, she's all sad that Hulu only has Season 1...so I showed her my favorite site to watch anime on, because I'm awesome *laugh*

I love my new phone (it's all pink and prettyful).

Ivy hates ska...she was making fun of it and I'm just like, "noooo, how are you going to insult my wonderful Toh Kay?!"

I love his voice so much, he is a god to rival Tim Armstrong and Matt Skiba (I know Alkaline Trio isn't ska, sshhh).

Tomas Kalnoky, how you send chills down my spine...

I'm in love with his voice.

Hey, guess what?!

I always end up with guys in bands (either presently or formerly).

I've dated a million bassists and drummers...Satan being one that comes to mind.

Fork was a vocalist too...he went to a wedding the other day and everyone was joking that he looked like every emo band ever....he totally was an emo child (after my own heart).

Yeah, he used to have pink hair and snake bites...(too bad he doesn't still have them, I still love kissing people with lip rings).

Mmmm, I wanna go see him soooo bad.

I kinda wanna dye my hair green...or maybe just put green and purple streaks in my hair....

Start wearing black lipstick again, I miss my goth girl phase.

I love that Fork doesn't smoke weed...he loves to drink though (score!)

We can enjoy alcoholism together....he smokes Camel 99s; ironic (yet, again).

I wanna live in a video game (can I just be a Night Elf?)

Fork is like, "You don't have anything against Blood Elves, right?"

*hysterical laughter*

"I play Alliance though..."

"I'll just be a Night Elf Druid!"

Yay!

My dream is to be a real life khajit...or like the cat race in Log Horizon.

Fork and I spent so much time talking about Morrowind, Final Fantasy, and Lego Star Wars *huge smile*

I adore that he's such a dork, because I totally have someone to go on random walks with, screw around in stores, skip down the street, sing random songs, play stupid games, watch MLP, and other stuff with.

He won't watch anime with me though, because he can't read subtitles....and he's technically not s'posed to drink because of his meds.

And why does he live so far away?!

What anime series should I watch next???

I've only got ten more episodes of Log Horizon...I've been thinking about re-watching Nyan Koi...or starting PreCure, but there's so many seasons that I'm overwhelmed.

Alley Cat keeps sending me pictures of her tummy and it's grossss (she's legitimately obese, and I'm like "bitch, I don't wanna see that shit")

She's so weird though, she sends me this text, "Send me a pic of your tummy!"

Gaaaah! Why?!

I broke my nail...bleh.

"The Villain in Glasses"

Weird that I'm kinda fangirling over Shiroe...is it weird if I ship him and Akatsuki?

She's so adorable!

And Nyanta is like the best friend I've always wanted...because who wouldn't want to befriend a sword-fighting humanoid cat in a green pinstripe tailcoat who can cook awesome curry....?

Um, he is god.

It's been so long since I've been this excited about an anime...like probably since the days of Inu Yasha, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Ugly Yet Beautiful World.

I forgot how much anime I used to watch, I stopped because I thought it was uncool.

This post is long enough...

Ciao, lovelies.

'Til we meet again.

I made breakfast though; chocolate pancakes.

Continued

As opposed to just fixing the double-spacing I'm just going to start a new post...as I said it's early...or late?

Because fuck everything.

I ended up passing out on the phone with Satan while he played Counterstrike with "that one kid" (who doesn't have a name in this blog because I was never personally friends with him, even though he was around a lot in the past; wanna hear two million funny stories involving him?)

"Holy shit, you're still there?!"

I'm pretty sure I responded with a "huh? *sleepy moan*"

Life is relative.

My life has been about living with an overwhelming sadness, but in this moment I feel the world changing...perhaps brighter days lie ahead.

Every breath, every moment, everything has meaning....I couldn't let it go because it's part of what I am, I see that now.

Wow, I sound fucking retarded.......

"You should go to sleep."

Erm, yes, I should do that.

Have fun with my fucked up memories, my hectic present, metaphorical boxes filled with tangible ashes of poetry, buried under an ancient sea....

Goodnight.

The Times We Had Were Not That Bad

I have the Kesh Jig stuck in my head, don't ask me how that happens.
Satan called me, so that's what I'm doing tonight.
I caught a cold...
He's got serious rage right now, "Steam is being a bitch".
Ivy is fighting with Catwoman, my only response; told you so.
Is it bad that she's on my last nerve?
I can't help her if she won't listen.
I'm glad that I at least feel like myself....no pretenses or façades.
There were a ton of things to say...but right now I just have a headache, Streetlight Manifesto and Satan coughing in my ear.
Knowing he's on the line is somehow comforting to me, even if we hardly talk...we don't say much, just sit on call silently, sharing random thoughts.
I like it, it kinda feels like when we used to hang out, I like that he's quiet.
Fork keeps saying he's in love with me, I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He (Satan) keeps teasing me about crashing that truck last month...it's kinda endearing that he gives me so much shit.
I found more awesome bands; The Bollox, Madness, and The Hippos...they're rad.
Buck-O-Nine is from San Diego...so the song My Town is actually about my hometown; ironic.
I'm having serious reservations about our friendship, because maybe I should surround myself with nice people...sometimes I get tired of listening to him be a dick for no reason.
Maybe I just hate everyone...I should go back to having no friends, some days everyone annoys me.
I'm not sure if I'm sick or depressed with allergies...maybe it's a stress cold.
"Fuck buying flowers for graves." <<< I want this tattooed on my ribs, to remind me that suicide is not the answer to my problems.
I don't think that you need to have another person to live for.
Somebody told me once when I tried to kill myself that you only need one person to love you, to live for.
"I don't got nobody's love to save me."
I'm living for myself though.
What am I even talking about anymore?
Apparently Blizzard gave badass mounts to everyone who won like three games of Hearthstone....obviously I'm talking about WoW.
Fuck my shit for having shitty internet and a shitty computer...and fucking shit.
Hmmmm, life.
I have to fix my own life, don't I?
I'm guilty of taking "selfies"...and that's only okay if you're a narcissistic, hot girl.
No fucking comment....for so many reasons...no.
Fork told me that I'm sexy and seductive, he said it's cute when I swear.
I have nothing to say about that either, I don't need to be in any more relationships.
My service sucks, Skype always drops my goddamn calls.
Surprisingly Satan always calls me back, you'd think he'd be bored by now.
Weird that he called me though, I'm still kinda psychic when it comes to him.
*laugh*
He's like, "when are you gonna start playing WoW again?"
°__°
Whyyyy?!
The Diablo expansion is coming out soon (I think).
Did I mention that Ivy is most likely staying with her husband...?
Yep, that is a fucking thing.
I told Satan if I'm ever stupid enough to get married that he should slap me.

It's 4:17am...

Why is it all weird and double-spaced???