MBTI (Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator) Results

Life is stressful, it's true.

I guess you just have to get over it.

I'm here again...

At the conscious decision to be happy.

Today I learned that I have an INTP personality type, it's scary accurate.

So this explains pretty much everything about my personality and my life.

I also read that it's likely Einstein was an INTP, it's one of the rarest personality types...accounting for less than 5% of the population in this country.

I wonder what personality type Kuma-kun has, I'm quite curious.

But this literally explains everything; my detachment, unintentional pretentiousness, unwillingness to be open about my feelings, my critical, analytical nature...

This is why sometimes people think I'm rude or offensive when I'm completely unaware of it.

INTPs are theorists, preferring an intellectual world to reality itself.

It makes sense why The Jester is my only friend, and why most people bore me to pieces.

It's my characteristic dislike of small talk...

My dislike of emotions and manipulative games...

Although sometimes I over-compensate in the emotional department, because I'm naturally unemotional...this habit happens to be uncharacteristic of an INTP.

People with this personality type are extremely loyal once you're deemed worthy though.

Easy to live with, not demanding in relationships...

I'm intuitive and prefer logic to emotions...which also explains my lack of female friends.

The trait I value most in people is intelligence.

I'm open-minded, but I don't trust others easily.

...shy unless I'm around people I know well or unless I'm talking about things that interest me.

I live inside my own head...

I'm really shocked at how accurate this is.

These articles are long, and I don't feel like reiterating all this...but really...all this has peaked my interest.

Jungian personality types?

That's what this is, I believe.

Meh, it's late...I'll read more tomorrow.

The Scent of Nostalgia

Well, last night I was going to post something positive and happy, because I've had a wonderful couple of days.

But Mister J and my mother are just...

Also I'm moody when I'm tired.

So, um, maybe something happy now? Yes?

It was really cool to spend time with Kuma-kun and see everyone acting and all the behind the scenes stuff.

They work so hard, I was tired simply from watching everyone run around.

I have an immense amount of admiration for everyone.

We also got to go to this huge house in "the rich part of town".

It's completely ridiculous how some people live.

Unnecessary.

So many people in this country are homeless and starving, and the rest of the world?!

Women forced to go into prostitution, children begging on the streets...and wealthy people whose biggest concern is their ice cream melting.

I'm appalled.

Oh, but enough of my "bleeding heart syndrome".

Nobody ever changed anything by talking about it.

Hence the reason I almost joined the Peace Corps...

Yes, I really did almost do that.

But back to all the acting stuff...

It made me miss being on stage *laugh*

Silly me and my nostalgia.

Kuma-kun's friend said that maybe I could help write scripts.

She told me MIT puts courses online, and to ask Kuma-kun about it.

Ironic that I posted that article recently...

It's an intriguing idea.

I've never tried writing scripts, it's definitely a foreign writing format/style.

But I'd love to learn stuff about all the things they do, it seems so fun.

And I always loved hanging out with the tech people when I was in plays.

Although I was always a claustrophobic in that little room where they control the lighting and stuff...

I remember everyone always told me how fantastic my acting was, but being on stage always gave me the sensation of transforming from a caterpillar into a butterfly.

Just another something that I gave up so I could smoke weed and get drunk...and also I gave it up because my mother wouldn't support it.

Funny how she ruined everything I ever wanted to do.

Pfft...life...

I'm not resentful, I swear.

Really when I was little, acting and writing were my two greatest dreams...through my entire life.

And then I hit adulthood and decided to be practical.

So I gave up on having a creative career and decided on linguistics or physics.

Because theoretically that's so much better.

Too late to change the past though, I suppose I could still have a career in writing.

Life is quite unpredictable.

God Bless Catastrophe

Everything is still the same...

Nothing has changed.

The same songs make me cry, the same thoughts float through my mind, the same people have the same personalities.

This is why I have to leave this city.

I've been here my entire life, the streets are tainted with names and faces...memories.

The same stars have been smiling at me for years.

They know what I am, what I've always been.
*sigh*
I'm still waist-deep in bullshit and day old makeup.
I'm fighting with Mister J over my relationship with Kuma-kun...
What can I say?
I'm moving too fast in this relationship, I've turned into an airhead...?
Into something I hate because I can't control my own emotions?
That my life is a complicated mess?
I shouldn't have to adhere to Mister J's opinions, because I'm an adult?
I don't like this whole being in love nonsense, but I am in love.
And I can't fucking help it.
Who can I trust honestly?
Sometimes I can't even trust my own brain.
I'm exhausted from trying to figure out life.
What am I even doing?
Mister J liked me better without a boyfriend...
Except that I was more of a mess before, less obviously...
I'm worried about Kuma-kun too, because I think he's stressed out.
And I hate my friends.
My cats destroyed my room while I was gone too.
I'm starting to lose my grip on shit.
Mostly just dealing with the fact that I'm fighting with everyone.
Well, my family members at least.
For various reasons...
Mostly just Mister J, because of my relationship choices.
And this is why after the incident with Satan, I stopped telling him shit.
He's so judgmental.
I'm so tired of it...
He's ruined almost as many relationships of mine as I have for myself.
I can't handle it.
These kinds of nights I just want to put a 45 in my mouth, pull the trigger.
You have to fight for what you want in life though.
I just hope Kuma-kun is as serious about this as he claims...
Because I'm going through Hell for this.
It's worth it...
I hope it's worth it, I hope he honestly loves me.
Hope my doubts are just my natural skepticism.
You never can tell if a person loves you.
Life is just shades of grey, right?
Love isn't a shade of grey...
I hope Mister J is wrong.
It's not like he isn't a victim of his own bias.
I'm about ready to kick him and my mother out of my life.
Like I can do that as simply as saying it...
But can't I?
Can't I make a choice?
That Mister J has no say in what I do?
I can make my own mistakes...
Because I let him control my life for years, I let my mother's behaviour drive me to drugs.
I let Satan ruin my views of love...
I'm not sure if I'm doing this right.
But I'm trying my best with Kuma-kun, and that's all I can handle right now.

Harlequin, Ivy, & A Lost Cat

Is it weird that I'm scared of pigeons?

If I was a bird, I would probably be a duck or a finch.

Whatever happened to taking a break from this blog?

I'm just happy to have the urge to write things.

Again I'm also happy to be home.

After almost two days with Catwoman and Ivy, they start to get on my nerves.

It's mostly because I have to adopt a personality reminiscent of Cher from Clueless.

They also don't get my interests or humour...

But I had fun; Ivy has the most adorable, happiest child ever.

I can't believe that he's seven months old.

I don't like Ivy's husband though, he's the definition of a douche.

And Catwoman wants me to go to Psy-Tribe with her...

Why do I feel like that's a bad idea?

Don't answer that...

As crazy as Catwoman is and as judgmental as Ivy is, we're still "best friends"...I guess?

Really I would rather spend time with The Jester any day.

Because that ridiculous "female mentality" does nothing but annoy me.

Also Catwoman has fried her brain from drugs, and sounds like a moron.

I mean, you know when you can tell that someone has done too much acid and E?

Like their head is empty and their eyes are blank?

That would be Catwoman...

And Ivy is the epitome of an oppressed housewife.

Don't even get me started on that whole situation, really...

I know this sounds critical, but watching your friends destroy their lives is painful.

Sleepless in San Diego ♥

Well, this tablet is difficult to type on...
I'm getting better at it though.
Catwoman has always had traits that annoy me,  I'm just more aware of it now that we're adults.
The three of us are still the same when we get together, we're so different but our relationship still feels like we're all fourteen smoking pot together.
Well, Ivy was never that into weed anyway, but still...
I missed them both,  it's such a strange sensation.
All we ever do is talk about the past,  people and places.
Satan comes up always...
I sigh at this and try not to be bitter about the past.
We discuss what everyone is doing with their lives, Catwoman is quiet as always.
At least she doesn't seem bored anymore.
How our lives have changed.
I remember why we were so close before, I remember why I pushed them away.
Maybe we're still friends for a reason.
I'm tired of analyzing everything all the time,  I should let life do whatever it's supposed to do.
My brain is exhausted, but I can't sleep.
This couch is uncomfortable.
I don't sleep even on good days.
Why am I still stressed out?
Because I'm worrying about their lives.
And I realize how very grateful I am for Kuma-kun.
He treats me so well...
I am quite lucky to have someone who genuinely loves me.
It's four in the morning, but it's too cold to sleep.
Metaphorically speaking, my mind is frigid.
I push everyone away.
It's true.
I don't tell anyone anything ever, I never say what I'm really thinking...
This is my fatal flaw, the one that will be my unraveling.
Not to say that Catwoman is the best friend ever, or that I don't worry about she and Ivy.
Simply to say that my life could be improved if I was more open about my feelings.
Some things never change.
Until the world has ended and the sun no longer shines.  ♡♡♡

The Dynamic Trio In Mundania

Well, I get to see my girls today.

Catwoman and Ivy...wish we were still close like we used to be.

Ivy says that Catwoman has turned into a robot, but she's always been apathetic...it's not something new.

I'll be happy to see them though.

And I have to do something about the dismembered lizard tail in the bathroom, but it's gross.

I get to see Kuma-kun on Friday!

I'm so excited I could die.

Yayayayayay!!!!

*sigh*

He just makes me really happy, and I'll finally be able to sleep again.

Sometimes my brain feels so full of useless information...

And I'm having problems with my mother, like usual.

I've been trying to figure out how to do "Nekomimi hair" like the girls in Japan.

The first tutorial I tried didn't work well, so I found a Japanese one with subtitles.

I'm going to try it today.

Right now I'm killing time, because Catwoman takes forever.

I actually do have stuff to do.

Like laundry, except my grandpa's roommate/friend is senile and keeps trying to pour bleach in the washer.

He's rude, racist, homophobic, ignorant, and a total moron.

I just ignore him because he pisses me off.

He said Persians are "sand-niggers"

Also he said that Dutch and German are the same language.

Told you he's a moron.

I can't tell you how many times I wake up to hear him yelling and swearing about "faggots" or "niggers"

Sorry, am I ranting?

I'm just annoyed about stuff right now.

I have to find time to do laundry tomorrow, but I have no clue when I'm going to get home.

And I'm nervous about being alone with Ivy and Catwoman.

I haven't seen either of them in months.

Ivy's marriage is falling apart and I told Catwoman that I "needed space" awhile ago.

So this is not really the best circumstance for us to be in.

I would love to find female friends who aren't jealous, emotional, catty, psychotic, or stupid.

I'm not sure that breed exists...

Republic of Catnip & Associates

This was a suggestion from somebody *hint, hint*

Monocled, mustached Russian cats wearing top-hats are going to take over the world.

This information is classified, but my sources tell me that the headquarters are in St. Petersburg.

They have an army of elephants with rocket launchers and ducks in Iron Man suits, if I remember correctly.

We had an issue with monkeys equipped with lasers escaping from the holding cells, but we hired more scientists.

And used Celine Dion to distract the people in the streets, although the explosions were still audible.

There were a few more inexplicable incidents.

But now we have shrimp tacos, awesome theme music...

And unfortunately we had to raise taxes on catnip, so the public is currently being fed cake and sardines.

So that's the synopsis.

Credit for this idea goes to both me and Kingpin.

This is my life...really.