June: 11-12-13

The ACT was infinitely less painful than the SAT.
Now to go back to that gloomy place and see if I can pass Bio.
I'm pretty sure I haven't been in my right mind for weeks, well now what shall I do?
The words of my subconscious are haunting my mind, "we were all here together once;" and so we were, a long lost memory from sunnier days.
Why did I think this was a good idea?
Getting in a random person's car, buying booze, crashing a party?
And sexual connotations about some shit, so let's just go back to the 90s and call it a day.

Graduation

I look old, hell, I feel old.
And this is the end.
And in 12 months someone will be standing there spouting generic words.
At that point we'll reach the end of the journey called highschool.
All the cliches, the smiles, the tears, the struggles, and the simple joys all rest on this one day when you walk away with your diploma.
When your future is over the horizon....
Well, another year with no yearbook, and I was too busy crying to take pictures at graduation.
But today will be forever in my memories.
Watching everything flutter away in a few bittersweet moments.

Transforming Destiny

Oh but you're so pretty dear, you're all dolled up on your way to reclaim your happiness.

I see the future clearly, we're victims of destiny.

Mental fortitude.

I feel out of place in the 50s, never trust men with anything.

Oh, God! Oh WHY?

I look up and it's the 80s, where did we go?

I never liked suburbia in the first place, but it's nice to meet someone who's on the same page as I am; even if they're trapped in this place.

To The Mountains

Well up here we drink our coffee black, we're up in the mountains so you can see the stars, and you can listen to the crazy stories of clean and sober ex-hells angels.
It's up here on the indian reservation, where you can hike down the side of the mountain to the casino, where you can find the most welcoming people you'll ever meet.
The only catch is don't bring any bullshit. This is where my step-dad's family lives, this is where I seem to find my place.
This is what I want the Misfits House to be like, all our friends in and out of this one house all the time.
So anyway, went on a Harley ride, it was fucking awesome.
Better than sex, drugs, or anything; it feels like flying....
My new addiction.

I Have No Idea

So today we're going to chronicle my wonderful adventure with the SAT!
(God help me)
I get to be crammed in a stuffy room in some random university with a lot of ridiculous teenagers.
Not the best way to spend a Saturday, not when I have a million other things to do; but they say that sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do.
Somewhat unpleasant and terribly uncomfortable, it makes me miss the delights of yesterday with a dull ache in my stomach.
The hallway may have been stuffy, but the room was ice cold.
Five hours sitting in a pitch white room, institutions.
And then out into the sunlight, I saw people that I recognized.
I said hi and listened to their pleasant chatter about their plans for the day and comments on the test.
I wish my life was like that: "Oh, let me go get my car, so I can meet you for lunch; because remember, I owe you ten dollars. And then I'll go home and study"
What if my life could really be like that?
If I could always be pretty and put together, with wonderful things to look forward to.
Anyway I'm watching a wedding party progress on this lovely, sunny Saturday afternoon; with nothing to look forward to but chores and homework in that chaos that I call my home.
Really my home is rather drab and dreary, and the most understandable way to describe the energy there is to say that the feng shui is all messed up.
For the moment I'll just enjoy the vivid colours of the beautiful world around me, I should embrace it before it's gone.

A Fantasy at The Huntington

 

Goodbye, gilded stairs.
Out of the palace doors and into the blinding sunlight.

We traveled to the hall of faces, where we witnessed the decay of life.

Eyes stare at you from the shadows, dolls enact the dance of time, and everything turns to dust eventually. We traveled through wonderland, through a forest of roses.

We witnessed Aphrodite on a pedestal, smiling down on us.
A wise old duck led us to an Emperor's Palace, we traveled through a pond meditating on our past lives.

Across the desert to the mausoleum, it was a grand sight; carved marble, how it overwhelmed me.

Returned to meet the Gods on a field of green, witness the dragonfly in the marble fountain.

Everything is gilded marble here, we bid farewell to Poseidon and the adventure is over.

Current Events (in my life)

It is too early in the morning and I'm too brain dead to do much of anything.
Huntington art museum on Friday, it's my favorite museum and the grounds are amazing.
I also am in the process of writing my Personal Statement for AP Language, I am stumped.
Where do I take the delicate subject of my life without breaking the fabric of the surface and delving into some excruciating monologue and if I don't then where is the fun in that?
How do I put my life into one thousand words, I guess that's the challenge.